deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dragons of War
This Is War!!
Upon the backs of Dragons we fight
For the truth and the freedom
That our lost country once stood for
Fly high now protect what is ours
Take a chance now we must strike
And take down their world
We will cleanse the corruption
That they have brought to the land
Take the battle through cold stormy nights
Through the burning noxious flames
Fight for the freedom
For all of eternity
Our land has been lost
We must fight to rebirth
The way our country was
Those many years ago
For the truth and the freedom
That they have stripped from us
We fight for what was lost
Those generations ago
Burn through the seas
As the angels tears fall
Whilst the war rages on
Of corruption versus purity
The rain of fire
The burning of ice
Within this epic war
All boundaries are broken
Those thousands of years ago
The original thirteen were founded
And fought the oppression
Of whom they were controlled by
And now they are corrupted
By the same sort of evil
So now we must fight
Mount the dragons
Soar miles high
We must face the tyranny
And take it down
Take the battle through the cold stormy nights
And the burning noxious flames
We fight for the freedom
For all of eternity
The rain of fire
The burning of ice
Within this epic war
All boundaries are broken
Owned by Dustin Smith: Bastardofbodom666
Upon the backs of Dragons we fight
For the truth and the freedom
That our lost country once stood for
Fly high now protect what is ours
Take a chance now we must strike
And take down their world
We will cleanse the corruption
That they have brought to the land
Take the battle through cold stormy nights
Through the burning noxious flames
Fight for the freedom
For all of eternity
Our land has been lost
We must fight to rebirth
The way our country was
Those many years ago
For the truth and the freedom
That they have stripped from us
We fight for what was lost
Those generations ago
Burn through the seas
As the angels tears fall
Whilst the war rages on
Of corruption versus purity
The rain of fire
The burning of ice
Within this epic war
All boundaries are broken
Those thousands of years ago
The original thirteen were founded
And fought the oppression
Of whom they were controlled by
And now they are corrupted
By the same sort of evil
So now we must fight
Mount the dragons
Soar miles high
We must face the tyranny
And take it down
Take the battle through the cold stormy nights
And the burning noxious flames
We fight for the freedom
For all of eternity
The rain of fire
The burning of ice
Within this epic war
All boundaries are broken
Owned by Dustin Smith: Bastardofbodom666
Published 28th Apr 2011
| Edited 20th Mar 2012
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th May 2011 3:17pm
I'm not a huge fan of the fantasy genre (too many dragons for me) but overall this isn't bad. Typo: noxious (3rd stanza), and that word means poisonous and typically refers to gases, so perhaps change the phrase from "burning noxious flames" to "burning noxious fumes"? Need an apostrophe in "as the angels' tears fall." One last little thing, you use a fairly structured, formal format, so the use of the contraction in "and now they're corrupted" seems out of place. It may read better as "they are." But that's a personal preference. Overall a pretty good piece.
8th May 2011 3:23pm
thx for the honesty man :) i made the changes cept for the fumes... i like the idea of poisonous flames :D hahaha
