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Shower (Part 2) Collaborated with Bakerman7
[/font]As you tell me to fuck your pussy hard, I do[/font]
[/font]Shaking your ass from side to side my dick sliding deeper into you [/font]
[/font]Soaking wet we have a rhythm that's so unuique [/font]
[/font]Keep watching you shake that ass standing on your feet [/font]
[/font] [/font]I turn your body around and I drop to my knees[/font]
[/font]Spreading your wet swollen pussy lips as my tongue teases [/font]
[/font] [/font]Your clit poking out to meet my tongue[/font]
[/font]In go 2 fingers, you instantly cum [/font]
[/font]My tongue taste your juice as it runs down my lips[/font]
[/font]Slide my fingers out and you kiss the tips [/font]
[/font] [/font]As my tongue dips into the wall of your cunt[/font]
[/font]A fresh wave of pleasure goes through you like you want [/font]
[/font][/font][/font]Now I lay back on the floor of the tub[/font]
[/font]You stand over top of me giving your pussy a rub [/font]
[/font] [/font]With my dick sitting straight up in the air[/font]
[/font]You squat down on it, as I scream oohh yeah [/font]
[/font][/font][/font]Up and down you ride me real good[/font]
[/font]In your belly you can feel my wood [/font]
[/font] [/font]I grab your breasts and each one I lick[/font]
[/font]You increase the rhythm as you ride this dick[/font]
[/font]Ohh now I hear you humming[/font]
[/font]As fast as lightning, I feel you cumming [/font]
[/font] [/font]We continue on to fuck for hours[/font]
[/font]Satiated we both cum while taking a shower[/font]
[/font]
Published 28th Apr 2011
| Edited 11th Jun 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 9
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The author encourages honest critique.
28th Apr 2011 9:54pm
29th Apr 2011 4:12am
28th Apr 2011 10:06pm
\'Soak and wet we have a rhythm that\'s so unuiqueI\'
(soaking wet? we have a rhythm that\'s so unique I?)
\'Spreading your wet swollen pussy lips as my tongue tease?\' maybe \'teases\' would be better here
\'My tongue taste your juices as it runs down my lips\' this part may flow better if said differently, for eg:
\'My tongue tastes your juice as it runs down my lips\'
\'With my dick sitting straight up in the air
You squat down on the the wood, as I scream oohh yeah
Up and down you ride me real good
In your belly you can feel my wood\'
The word \'wood\' twice too close together doesnt really work, maybe change the first to something else? as the second rhymes perfectly
Those were just Minor grammatical issues which i would hate to see ruin the fantastic quality of this sensual piece. The role reversal is Perfectly played, you are convincing in every sense of the word. All in all, a great concept brilliantly executed. Fix those small errors, and it will be perfect!
17th May 2011 12:05pm
23rd May 2011 11:33pm
I Love your works Never second guess your art. this is the bomb, it left me speachless
24th May 2011 4:10am
Anonymous
31st Aug 2012 1:32am
haha..hottt!...both parts
31st Aug 2012 1:45am
