deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mother
They call it Tartan House
A dark and dreary house
An institute for the insane
for those strange in the brain
Domicidal premises
for homicidal tendencies
A prison to entomb
for those who need a padded room
they’ve got jackets with straps
to stop violent scraps
they’ve got lots and lots of drugs
they encouraging lots of hugs
groups for confessions
as therapy sessions
But Wait! - Close the Gate!
I know what you’re thinking
You haven’t been drinking
Your wondering why I am here
Its true I seem normal
Despite being informal
And having this fish in my ear
But Wait! - Close the Grate!
Despite what you’d wish
You cant see the fish
You cant even see that its swinging
You’re worried I’m mad
And maybe I’m bad
Cause you cant even hear what its singing
But Wait! - Close the Gait!
The orderly’s coming
My head needs some numbing
Medication and some of ‘the other’
I know I’m a freak
I’ll see you next week
Thanks for coming to visit me mother
A dark and dreary house
An institute for the insane
for those strange in the brain
Domicidal premises
for homicidal tendencies
A prison to entomb
for those who need a padded room
they’ve got jackets with straps
to stop violent scraps
they’ve got lots and lots of drugs
they encouraging lots of hugs
groups for confessions
as therapy sessions
But Wait! - Close the Gate!
I know what you’re thinking
You haven’t been drinking
Your wondering why I am here
Its true I seem normal
Despite being informal
And having this fish in my ear
But Wait! - Close the Grate!
Despite what you’d wish
You cant see the fish
You cant even see that its swinging
You’re worried I’m mad
And maybe I’m bad
Cause you cant even hear what its singing
But Wait! - Close the Gait!
The orderly’s coming
My head needs some numbing
Medication and some of ‘the other’
I know I’m a freak
I’ll see you next week
Thanks for coming to visit me mother
Published 12th Dec 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
1st Jan 2015 3:15pm
This was my introduction to your poetry when I read it in the comp I was running [still going]. I was really impressed with your entry, the opening line had me hooked straight away and I thought the humour was great, the fish in the ear was classic and a great image.
The interjecting "but wait" lines was a brilliant touch as well, it gave the poem an erratic edginess and had a lot of impact, whilst breaking up the stanzas, giving the reader some space before diving back into the rhyming flow.
Great stuff, David. Thanks for taking part in the comp and I look forward to reading more of your poetry.
The interjecting "but wait" lines was a brilliant touch as well, it gave the poem an erratic edginess and had a lot of impact, whilst breaking up the stanzas, giving the reader some space before diving back into the rhyming flow.
Great stuff, David. Thanks for taking part in the comp and I look forward to reading more of your poetry.
2nd Jan 2015 00:27am
Again thank you, you are too kind :-)
I am writing most things these days for performance at spoken word events in Edinburgh - this sometimes makes the poems more edgy looking
:-)
Anonymous
16th Sep 2015 11:45am
I think what I like most about this is the bouncing seamless rhythm you've got going on within the lines here. I don't mean this is a derogatory sense, but the poem kinda reminded me of the tail end of a drug high, that erratic observational quality that makes you feel a little bit paranoid. thoroughly enjoyed the read, thank you.
16th Sep 2015 3:07pm
thanks for reading and your very kind comments - I wrote with intent of having a comedic frantic beat to it, I wrote it as a performance piece so well spotted :-)
I am so glad you enjoyed it :-)
I am so glad you enjoyed it :-)
