deepundergroundpoetry.com
warmth is what's remembered
in the playpen of an infant
they are spinning
along with a snail
wearing a monicle
and a triangle
spiraling
brown-red of crumbled brick
above
below is not the ninety nine feet of snow
that was lain well before we walked
nor is it the slush that the rushers make
soaking in beneath our denim
under where chalk can still spell cold
they become recognizable
from way outside
when the curves round down
flat, and they are viewed
from a two by three inch rectangle
that stretches to scale
the too many million miles away
they are spinning
along with a snail
wearing a monicle
and a triangle
spiraling
brown-red of crumbled brick
above
below is not the ninety nine feet of snow
that was lain well before we walked
nor is it the slush that the rushers make
soaking in beneath our denim
under where chalk can still spell cold
they become recognizable
from way outside
when the curves round down
flat, and they are viewed
from a two by three inch rectangle
that stretches to scale
the too many million miles away
Published 11th Dec 2014
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12th Dec 2014 1:14pm
I like this, LB. I like the language of it and the visual trip it brought me on. I didn't figure out what you were referring to. I expect that's cos I was thinking too much into it. some really nice lines in there good fellow, can't think of anything to suggest right now so my apologies for that.
anyhow, grand offering altogether, goo fellow
anyhow, grand offering altogether, goo fellow
12th Dec 2014 8:20pm
Awesome, good Craic O'Dealer.
I wasnt referencing a particular thing, so your thoughts aren't far off my intentions.... had two (leaning towards three) sorta points of focus... I was truly aiming at an inbetween the few focuss..where the inbetween hopefully becomes the focus through the language and such.... that in between I am starting to sense as a bridge holding together the varying references...but it is still really loose and hard to definitively hold for me..... mehhhh, prob confused this whole stupid response
I had thoughts man, I promise I did...just turned to this array of nonsense when Iput it down
Ha, thanks E, very much appreciated
I wasnt referencing a particular thing, so your thoughts aren't far off my intentions.... had two (leaning towards three) sorta points of focus... I was truly aiming at an inbetween the few focuss..where the inbetween hopefully becomes the focus through the language and such.... that in between I am starting to sense as a bridge holding together the varying references...but it is still really loose and hard to definitively hold for me..... mehhhh, prob confused this whole stupid response
I had thoughts man, I promise I did...just turned to this array of nonsense when Iput it down
Ha, thanks E, very much appreciated
