A Wormhole to Nowhere

I entered this in the competition "Sad and Sorrowful poems" in the forums  @ http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/7411/45/
JJ

love it :-) Thanks for sharing

Thanks for the comment EM!

I think in the end we all have this feeling of futility in our relationships; we will always walk alone eventually but on the way we bruise hearts, and bruise ours; and on leaving we gouge out the hearts of those we leave behind. The key to the whole journey is to love well and hard, to give and take wholeheartedly...and if its a journey alone...so be it. I enjoy your writes, Poetryman,but this one is so sad...maybe because you tailored it to the competition.

Grace, thank you for you very thoughtful comment. Although I entered this poem in the contest and it was partly inspired after I had read other entries, I thought about it for a few days before writing this. I wasn't sure if I was going to enter it in e competition initially, and I did enter another older poem in he comp as well, but as I experience these feelings on an every day basis, I couldn't keep them inside once the spark started the fire. I didn't have to do any tailoring as this is the state of my life. I have been alone for several years now because my last relationship not only ended terribly but I lost my best friend of 25 years in the process when he and my girlfriend decided that sex meant more to them than love and friendship. Betrayal on that level makes one cynical to say the least. The poem, "Traitor in Our Midst" is about that relationship. But I have had a few other relationships end in a similar fashion before that, so for the better part of the last 35 years, I have been alone and depressed. I've thought about suicide so many times over the years that it is practically second nature to me. Somehow I keep myself alive and often find myself wondering how I ever got this old. Being alone now is the worst because I no longer work. I rarely see other people. My on line friends are far more than my physical friendships and sometimes I think they get annoyed with my endless instant messages that are usually not so instant. Sad and sorrowful is a mild way of expressing the state of me.

No. Never suicide. As long as we are alive, we savour what adventures are meant for us on that day. We pass through people and relationships; some good, some not so good but that's just living. Love and sex are good, but not everything. Sad and Sorrowful eh. Believe me, your story sounds like my diary. :)

I think you are  still alive because you have the will to live and because deep in your heart you believe you are ment for more!
We all have  scars dear,scars of betrayal and relationships gone rotten and at some point i believe to each and everyone of us,living is indeed a struggle!But isn't that the very reason why life is deemed as such a great adventure?!
We fall  we rise and we will fall again,but we  can learn how to to fight  and defend our tittles or names,our minds our hearts even when we are laying on the rock buttom.Its all a matter of configuring the insides;your mind your soul your spirit your faith...and securing them with the greatest anti virus whether its prayer  or reading inspirational books or writing or volunteering and giving (even your time counts) or cooking or cleaning,(whatever builds you up)such that when those virus of broken friendships and 'failure list'' and pain and tears knock,they may crack you (just a little bit)but not entirely corrupt your system because you have gilded your self with a strong firewall of "i believe in me and i can and will make it!"
A champion is not just the one who finish no.1 or 2 or 3,a champion is the person that finish the race to the very end whether his feet are bleeding or his lungs are giving the red sign threatning to wear out or everyone else is done racing and people are already leaving the stadium...A champion completes his race without taking shortcuts or cheating his way out!You are a champion,don't you dare tap out,get to the finish line,crawl if you have to but don't ever tap out!
Good luck on the competition.Really  Deep and touching ink!

Thank you Peninnah! Your comment is most insightful and inspiring... I often feel there is more in store for me and I have some higher destiny, though life has a way of knocking me off my imaginary pedestal. Time will tell and I will repeat it's message in my poetry for as long as I am able... jj

The darker side of love...simply beautiful..I really love this, I can relate to your words.

Thank you for commenting! It's nice to know I'm not alone.glad you loved it!!! JJ

Hands down, all  say do is love it with no protest my honey. Deep inkwell you are !

Thank you Noire! JJ