deepundergroundpoetry.com
hurricane dance
Saturday night in a downtown club. music heavy &
primitive, scotch just barely affordable.
it was a warm city night, but I was comfortable in my white
shirt. top two buttons undone, cuffs folded half-way up my
forearms. as I contemplated my amber reflection in the whiskey,
my nose detected an exotic scent, brash, like jungle orchids.
my new bar-mate nudged me, accidental-like, but not really. I
glanced her way to do a little reconnaissance on her battle gear:
a silver sheath ending at mid-thigh, exposing naked legs that made
a long lusty trip down to black sandals, that whispered one-night stand.
I made some uninspired remark like ‘hot tonight’; she looked at me
sideways, indicating she didn’t need a weather report. we leaned back
against the bar & studied the dance floor. ‘see anything you like?’ she
said. I looked directly at her sexy body. ‘sure I do. just don’t want to
burn my fingers, is all.’
the music wailed, the dancers danced. after a minute her patience died
in the drumbeats. ‘what are you so polite for? why don’t you just take it.’
was that a slutty invite? my fingers touched her hair lightly, almost not
touching it, like it was the bristling fur of a maneater. then I grabbed a
good fistful of it, tilting her head back.
she squealed, & opened her mouth just enough to suck in air, so I dove
for it like a kamikaze. lips on lips, my tongue snaking defiantly into the
wolf trap of her beautiful mouth. my hand eased down her back & found
her fabulous ass without a tour guide. I squeezed, & her body jerked a little.
she put her hand on my chest, feeling for the savage hairs under my shirt,
maybe. then she shoved me back violently & slapped me hard, stinging
my cheek like a branding iron. her eyes spit hellfire, & she clobbered me
with her brass-knuckled words: ‘don’t ever treat a lady like a whore!’
she stormed off then, a one-woman hurricane.
she was a killer, but she taught me a lesson that I’ll carry for a long while:
never judge a book by its lurid cover. & never ever figure you can read the
poetry in a dame’s heart…
(Art: ‘Exotic Dancer’ by Tyler Robbins)
Published 10th Nov 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 21
reading list entries 3
comments 18
reads 1435
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th Nov 2014 00:39am
10th Nov 2014 1:53am
10th Nov 2014 5:12am
Damn that was so engaging . Read like a page out of a romance novel. And I'm sure he could have her just like in romance novels lol
Really really enjoyed this one xox
Really really enjoyed this one xox
10th Nov 2014 5:42am
10th Nov 2014 6:23am
so many killer lines throughout this, Mister Feddeler. slick, seamless and sexy.... loved!
10th Nov 2014 9:14am
10th Nov 2014 10:35am
oh JF...the smile never left my face as I read...
you do have a way with words...
i have to say it...your words are so seductive they're like a good fuck...apologies for my bluntness.... :)
you do have a way with words...
i have to say it...your words are so seductive they're like a good fuck...apologies for my bluntness.... :)
10th Nov 2014 5:31pm
I really like your down and dirty style. Your lines remind me somewhat of John Hiatt songs.
10th Nov 2014 6:06pm
10th Nov 2014 6:12pm
Oh the seduction found within ur mind
Unlocked by the swipe of ur pen
Unleashing ur passion
On.ur waiting public
As we salivate over every syllable
What a work of beauty Mr Feddeler
Unlocked by the swipe of ur pen
Unleashing ur passion
On.ur waiting public
As we salivate over every syllable
What a work of beauty Mr Feddeler
10th Nov 2014 6:30pm
11th Nov 2014 6:15am
Such terrific details, John, I felt like I was your wingman sitting in horror at the bar as you got your ass blown away. Great job !
11th Nov 2014 9:24am
Good near-biblical morality to this! Right on par, another fitting scene for your great weaving film-noire flick, those tough bars in those parts of town, with those impossible damsels of destruction...
11th Nov 2014 9:35am
I enjoyed it, the steam of this pulled me out of my clonazepam induced haze! :) Thank you.
13th Nov 2014 6:49am
Very impressive Raymond Chandler pastiche, taut, well written and witty. If I may ask one question. Her comment about just taking it was indeed a 'slutty invite'. Would it not have worked better if her comment could have been more ambiguous. Or were you looking for deliberate entrapment on her part?
14th Nov 2014 3:10am
how can a man ever understand what a woman says? we interpret them w/the poor facilities that we have, & that usually results in the miscalculation that occurred in the poem.
I guess that was my point...
I guess that was my point...
14th Nov 2014 11:47pm
sigh you made me want to be that girl and had full dramatic visuals..as always "slam dunk"..love what you do, so very very well
22nd Aug 2017 9:11am
Such is a woman, dangerous
if you don't play your cards right.
A hurricane like that is always a gamble.
Brilliant, John
Explosive poetry...
if you don't play your cards right.
A hurricane like that is always a gamble.
Brilliant, John
Explosive poetry...
