deepundergroundpoetry.com
Eyes for Me
Heavenly man
Heartbeat of mine
I am the mistress of the line
Draw it.
This perpetual port
Filthy masquerade
Smithereens flying still
Whither hither
Far and shrill
A runaway child
Looking for escape
Needs not a home
But somewhere new to hate
This life only has
One destination
It holds new meaning
One proposition
Name your galaxy
And hail to the beast
Let it be grand
Occupied with your delicacy
Though creatures stir in the night
Under sought-after light
You shall never feel...
What it is to be lonely
Heartbeat of mine
I am the mistress of the line
Draw it.
This perpetual port
Filthy masquerade
Smithereens flying still
Whither hither
Far and shrill
A runaway child
Looking for escape
Needs not a home
But somewhere new to hate
This life only has
One destination
It holds new meaning
One proposition
Name your galaxy
And hail to the beast
Let it be grand
Occupied with your delicacy
Though creatures stir in the night
Under sought-after light
You shall never feel...
What it is to be lonely
Published 8th Nov 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 1
comments 16
reads 984
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th Nov 2014 5:19pm
The last 4 lines were incredibly powerful and chilling. These 4 lines could stand alone as one piece. Good job!
8th Nov 2014 5:50pm
8th Nov 2014 6:54pm
Very good write.. You're words are strong.. nice flow.. great wordplay.. Well written.. You have a gift..
Dave
Dave
8th Nov 2014 8:20pm
Well write, valsatiger! I love this poem, really and your style!
Hope to read more in a few days! And welcome in DUO, valsatiger!
Hope to read more in a few days! And welcome in DUO, valsatiger!
8th Nov 2014 10:06pm
8th Nov 2014 11:27pm
9th Nov 2014 00:17am
Anonymous
9th Nov 2014 00:22am
"A runaway child
Looking for escape
Needs not a home
But somewhere new to hate"
Loved these four lines, just such a punch, very powerful stuff here valsatiger! I will follow you as I wish to read more of your work, I look forward to that very much.
Looking for escape
Needs not a home
But somewhere new to hate"
Loved these four lines, just such a punch, very powerful stuff here valsatiger! I will follow you as I wish to read more of your work, I look forward to that very much.
9th Nov 2014 2:04am
I enjoy you style of writing. It's quirky yet grabs you, usually at the end from these two poems I've read.
Enjoyed...
Enjoyed...
9th Nov 2014 2:40am
Love the way you structure your stanzas. It is as if each one has an epic line that the eye can't forget
9th Nov 2014 2:44am
A runaway child
Looking for escape
Needs not a home
But somewhere new to hate
the whole poem is great - but this is really, really great
Looking for escape
Needs not a home
But somewhere new to hate
the whole poem is great - but this is really, really great
9th Nov 2014 5:29am
This is fantastic. At first I had to re-read the last part of the first stanza but I think it flows. There is a lot of depth here. Keep it coming.
10th Nov 2014 2:45am
"And hail to the beast" I liked that. Your themes are dark and it leaves a lot of questioning about what drives you to write, what's your story, is the darkness a reflection of self or a projection of hurt?
10th Nov 2014 2:26pm
Thank you!
I would have to say that this is more a poem in which I am sharing what I have learned from my past relationships and their pattern...yes, it sounds relatively dark because I have not been in a relationship that has made me a better person quite yet.
I am partially describing what I have been doing. I have been longing not to be lonely, so much, that I have pushed aside the fact that each relationship is still leaving me empty and not filling me up.
I am glad you enjoy my writing. It is a very large part of who I am.
I would have to say that this is more a poem in which I am sharing what I have learned from my past relationships and their pattern...yes, it sounds relatively dark because I have not been in a relationship that has made me a better person quite yet.
I am partially describing what I have been doing. I have been longing not to be lonely, so much, that I have pushed aside the fact that each relationship is still leaving me empty and not filling me up.
I am glad you enjoy my writing. It is a very large part of who I am.
18th Nov 2014 2:34am
A very interesting mix of metaphors and rhyme. You are obviously a gifted wordsmith. Enjoyed and look forward to more.
19th Jan 2016 10:34pm
