deepundergroundpoetry.com

Endless Misery

Thoughts of him haunts me to this very day
How annoying it is that these thoughts won't go away
His kiss, his eyes, his hands his very touch
Makes me ache with need, I want him so much

Dirty thoughts, clean thoughts, sweet thoughts; I have them all!
I sit here slouching, depressed and mad, just wishing I could stand tall
He haunts my mind like a ghost would a house
He mentally plays games like a cat would a mouse

I am being driven mad and the worst part is
That I have to live every day with this choice of his
Parts of me will love him literally until the day I die
But parts of me have also gotten over him, but they still sigh

The sighing parts of my broken heart is the back ground noise to my life
The hole in my back has healed around the fatal knife
That he had plunged into my trusting backside
From me he will always run, from me he will always hide

Because I know him, every single secret he has ever had
Everything that makes his heart so happy, everything that makes him sad
He will always run and he will never know from what
He will only find a small amount of comfort in the arms of a willing slut

I have cursed him in my own way by loving him with everything I had to give
I have cursed him with a curse that he will have to live
Though he is gone I still am haunted by the boy who broke my heart
He left and by doing so he tore it literally all apart

And my only wish is not that he would come back, that wish I lack
But that someday he will fall in love and that she will stab him in the back
I don't want him to come back without having experienced true pain
I want him to know what it's like to cry along with the rain

But what I actually wish for is that he will look back and think "Damn, she really did love me"
And realize that he is the reason that it's over, he's the one who left, he caused this misery

I have only a small amount of love that holds on like an ember in ash
An ember I wish someone would come along and just smash
I desire to fall in love completely, that the pieces of my heart
Will sing and sigh together and not cry far apart

I desire him because I loved him for a very long time
And we would still be together if he hadn't made a choice that was really a crime
I want these thoughts and memories to go away, right now, this very day!
But as I fall in love and this other love holds on tight, it seems like it's here to stay

I love him only with so little of my heart, it's not very much
And I just wish that my heart didn't ache for his calloused touch
With a heavy heart I remember and try not to cry
Because I can't seem to get completely over this one particular guy

Yes, I lie to every one who knows about him, saying I feel nothing at all
But he is the main reason I don't think I can fully fall
He seems to have ruined me for falling in love
And everyday I pray that I will forget to God above
Written by BlueBeastGirl (Beasty)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4 reading list entries 0
comments 7 reads 771
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
SPEAKEASY
Today 9:24am by Too_hot69
COMPETITIONS
Today 9:15am by admin
COMPETITIONS
Today 4:56am by NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
SPEAKEASY
Today 4:15am by Grace
SPEAKEASY
Today 3:33am by DCLXVI_1989
COMPETITIONS
Today 00:41am by Louismatteo349