deepundergroundpoetry.com
In The Darkness
I used to be alone in the darkness
then one lonely night you appeared
you entered in the dark world behind my eyelids
couldn't make out your face
you stayed hidden in the shadows of my mind
as you walked silently thru my soul
a warm fuzzy feeling came over me
that's when I knew it was you when my heart trembled
cause yours ignited mine scattering flamed lust
tell me my spirit luver.....
do you feel me in your darkness
then one lonely night you appeared
you entered in the dark world behind my eyelids
couldn't make out your face
you stayed hidden in the shadows of my mind
as you walked silently thru my soul
a warm fuzzy feeling came over me
that's when I knew it was you when my heart trembled
cause yours ignited mine scattering flamed lust
tell me my spirit luver.....
do you feel me in your darkness
Published 1st Nov 2014
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1st Nov 2014 4:15pm
1st Nov 2014 11:06pm
1st Nov 2014 5:18pm
it is his darkness that is in your beauty. his darkness makes your beauty cringe. I am that darkness, that darkness grim within. wonderful write.
1st Nov 2014 11:08pm
....and wonderful response. Thank you for adding to my write. Glad you enjoyed. Xo :)
Anonymous
1st Nov 2014 7:38pm
<< post removed >>
1st Nov 2014 11:10pm
if love was hidden in darkness, I'll make it my home. Lols
nice write...
BrrrRrrrrHhhh
nice write...
BrrrRrrrrHhhh
1st Nov 2014 11:12pm
Hey there......good to see you. Come in and close the door.....wrap up in my flesh blanket and stay a while. LOL!! Thank you! Xo :)
I really enjoy your dark writes flower...
small critique if I may be so bold, take it or leave it of course...
If it wear me I would edit S3 L2 removing the words 'that's when'. For me, they are useless and take away from the impact of it... Though, I do use the word 'that' it is over and incorrectly used often. Not that it can't be used there and work, but it's not needed and often isn't...
small critique if I may be so bold, take it or leave it of course...
If it wear me I would edit S3 L2 removing the words 'that's when'. For me, they are useless and take away from the impact of it... Though, I do use the word 'that' it is over and incorrectly used often. Not that it can't be used there and work, but it's not needed and often isn't...
Hey Fenom......good to see you again. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the advice.....I will have a think.....I know all your writes are brilliant so I do appreciate the critique. Xo :)
