i thought she'd be safer underwater

she had a walk on her  
an ass orchestra  
that dilated my pupils  
started givin me blemishes  
one on each side of my brow line  
the first time i saw her movin that thing away  
   
made me a hill climber  
a tenth degree  
engaging in acts they don't have names for  
on the internet yet  
my wallet in her purse  
the 2 chains to my belt loop  
across her back  
left the icebox open  
with the pitchfork below her belly button  
   
still i always thought  
a text message askin  
"why do you even have a cellphone if you never answer?"  
was rhetorical  
so i never answer  
   
she should have believed me  
when i said i make a lot of mistakes  
but i know  
monsters are very real  
alive and well  
not on tv  
but in dreams that do come true  
the souls of bank managers  
SSRI brand names  
retirement homes,churches  
lil paper packages of beautiful brown sugar  
tomorrows on the other side of romantic promises  
things you see in you looking out of empty parking lots
   
Do you string yourself up preemptively to save her a murder?  
   
Kill anyone,    
who lies about loving you before you make them honest?  
   
sing drawn to tune by tooth and claw  
the shadowier side of the mountain in sunrise  
sky eyes  
one pale baby blue named  
don't you dare say we are the same  
   
i will hold you    
close  
down  
scared, helpless in river silt  
with just the pressure of my breath  
until the last  
rise and fall of yours