????

What is now, is not what it was then. I thought I was dead or at the very least numb. Going through the motions, living from moment to moment, not feeling anything. You have awoken things inside of me that I had forgotten were there. You came out of no where. I didn't seek you out or ask for it, you just showed up and changed everything  inside of me. The way you spoke to me was as if you were casting a spell over my heart. I don't even think about him anymore. All I do is think of you and what could be. But it's not going to be. You chose to listen to your heart and I wasn't the one in there speaking to it. I'm jealous of her.  I almost hate her and I don't even know her. It's not her, personally. It's the thought of her. I hate that she's going to have the best of you forever if she would allow it.  This is what I think about when tears are rolling down my face. Not him, but you.