deepundergroundpoetry.com

three years

You sit beside me with your half-filled wine glass
and no offense, but Iím not looking at you
Iím considering your beverageís proximity to me
and how easy it would be to lean over
pick it up and take a sip
never mind that Iíve spent the last three years
fighting the urge to do just that

Destruction is a desire that never
really goes away
it just dissipates to a whisper
instead of a scream

And despite what AA tells me
Iím doing just fine on my own
because while Iím looking at your drink
rolling the memory of it around in my mouth
Iím not drinking it
pre-sobriety Iíd have downed it
and looked innocent when you came back
from wherever youíd turned off to
and told you I no idea where your drink had gone

These days Iíve learnt to walk away
despite the whispers of temptation
telling me that just a taste will be okay
fantasies be damned, three years ago
I was so out of control I was
a bottle of wine away from wrapping
someone elseís car around a pole
just so I could escape the voices in my head
that thought death might be a better option
than the vodka-wine obsession I couldnít
make myself live without

You sit beside me with your half-filled wine glass
and no offense, but Iím not looking at you
Iím looking into the past
remembering just how much
I never want to go back there
(despite what temptation says)

© Indie Adams 2014
Indie
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
Published | Edited 12th Oct 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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