deepundergroundpoetry.com
love, like a mountain
a woman says I love you as if it were enough
will she toil in the fields with me
under a sun that beats us like unworthy heathens –
will she take the sparse vegetables I harvest
and from that simple bounty, produce a feast
will she lay down her own sorrows
and embrace mine – the years of war that kill
the boy and resurrect him as a warrior, who
murders for each piece of ground that he conquers –
can she reclaim the lost days, the nights of madness
and drinking; can she scrub clean the gutters I’ve
slept in, when there was no other sanctuary
will she cut into me and remove the hurt that I carry –
the oldest lie is: a man never cries
will she lay with me in coarse blankets, place her
tenderness and beauty on a sacrificial altar, suffer
my fevered assault, my rough hands and violent lips,
as I take my corrupt needs from her sundered flesh
and make no apology, because I’m a man,
I’m just a man –
a woman – a Woman – reckons the burden of love
she knows the sheer weight of it
and that is enough.
Published 6th Oct 2014
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likes 21
reading list entries 9
comments 15
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The author encourages honest critique.
6th Oct 2014 4:24am
Ah, JohnFeddeler, luv :-* ~
You see so very clearly. You would be such a man to love... :-*
You see so very clearly. You would be such a man to love... :-*
6th Oct 2014 4:50am
Will we ever find the One* John ay?
I have to believe we just might.
Loves you brother
Zazzles Xox
I have to believe we just might.
Loves you brother
Zazzles Xox
6th Oct 2014 9:58am
this reminds me of an Alice Hoffman quote...
"Among men and women, those in love do not always announce themselves with declarations and vows. But they are the ones who weep when you're gone. Who miss you every single night, especially when the sky is so deep and beautiful, and the ground so very cold."
... every pot has a lid, Mister Feddeler, no matter how skew it is :)
"Among men and women, those in love do not always announce themselves with declarations and vows. But they are the ones who weep when you're gone. Who miss you every single night, especially when the sky is so deep and beautiful, and the ground so very cold."
... every pot has a lid, Mister Feddeler, no matter how skew it is :)
6th Oct 2014 5:41pm
painfully direct. it strikes deep. Thank you for sharing your wise and insightful pen. Respectfully - blue angel
6th Oct 2014 7:32pm
A woman who truly knows how to love
Will lift all burdens from upon ur shoulders
And weather them on her back
I mirror Savaja's thoughts......
Yes u sir would b quite a man to love
Will lift all burdens from upon ur shoulders
And weather them on her back
I mirror Savaja's thoughts......
Yes u sir would b quite a man to love
7th Oct 2014 00:45am
Anonymous
7th Oct 2014 2:00am
John, no man can write like you do, with such power and vulnerability at the same time..to me that's the true sign of a great character, and you got it my friend!
7th Oct 2014 2:10am
and from that simple bounty, produce a feast
will she lay down her own sorrows
and embrace mine – the years of war that kill
the boy and resurrect him as a warrior, who
murders for each piece of ground that he conquers –
can she reclaim the lost days, the nights of madness
and drinking; can she scrub clean the gutters I’ve
slept in, when there was no other sanctuary
will she cut into me and remove the hurt that I carry –
... This is the heart of this MARVELOUS piece for me - resurrection of the man child by the true hands of love ... That's the woman who's feet I kiss, suckle even
will she lay down her own sorrows
and embrace mine – the years of war that kill
the boy and resurrect him as a warrior, who
murders for each piece of ground that he conquers –
can she reclaim the lost days, the nights of madness
and drinking; can she scrub clean the gutters I’ve
slept in, when there was no other sanctuary
will she cut into me and remove the hurt that I carry –
... This is the heart of this MARVELOUS piece for me - resurrection of the man child by the true hands of love ... That's the woman who's feet I kiss, suckle even
7th Oct 2014 9:25am
I loved every poetic word. You certainly have "bardic" qualities but if I were a woman I'd run away from you! fast! ;-)
7th Oct 2014 12:13pm
I am with Vee on this John....
There is a line in a song by R. Kelly that says: "when a woman loves, she loves for real"...
It takes a powerful and unique man to realize it and treasure it.
Standing ovation to you sir!
There is a line in a song by R. Kelly that says: "when a woman loves, she loves for real"...
It takes a powerful and unique man to realize it and treasure it.
Standing ovation to you sir!
7th Oct 2014 4:03pm
I swear ! every time you hit me with your words
I'm just overwhelmed . thank you :)
I'm just overwhelmed . thank you :)
7th Oct 2014 11:40pm
will she lay down her own sorrows
and embrace mine – the years of war that kill
the boy and resurrect him as a warrior, who
murders for each piece of ground that he conquers –
...Beautiful Honesty John!!!
A Tender work Good Sir-Absolute Emotion!!!
and embrace mine – the years of war that kill
the boy and resurrect him as a warrior, who
murders for each piece of ground that he conquers –
...Beautiful Honesty John!!!
A Tender work Good Sir-Absolute Emotion!!!
8th Oct 2014 11:23am
9th Oct 2014 12:27pm
Ah JF...you've done it again...
I agree with Savaja...you would be such a man to love... :)
I agree with Savaja...you would be such a man to love... :)
21st Jun 2022 00:21am
They make the situation seem so painless like a practice posed dipped in front of an audience. Oh1 and did I say audience I'm use to plenty of them. this was a great write. Hopefully my words will have you write another great on and not impose on the beauty of art.
