I don’t want your safety net...

I don’t want your safety net
I want blood and lust and destruction

I have let myself be tamed
by these circumstances
and I miss the parts of me I deny
just for the chance to stand in the sun
in the hope that it’ll wash away
the cold in my bones

I am heathen, I am unbeliever
I am secrets and lies
but I am not as dead as you think I am
though I’ve stopping pushing the boundaries
of my own tenuous existence

You don’t really know me
there are few left that do
and I don’t know how to show you
the person I was
without you ripping to shreds
the lacklustre person I’ve become

If boredom where a disease
I would be dead by now
impaled by the monotony
of my own self-imposed
creative castration

Because love has chained me to safety
though I don’t want the security this place holds
and yet I keep it for you
because you’re one of the few
that have ever been worth the bleeding of my heart
though sometimes I cannot bear the weight of you

© Indie Adams 2014