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INTERNAL LANDSCAPE       (7-9-01;  Galveston Island, Texas)



         
my internal landscape
and horizon
seem destined to evolve  
          not just
          the ceaseless stimulation
          of my renegade mind
seldom stagnant  
yet at times
erupting in conflicting directions
          forward here  backward there
          now something new
          is coming up
something good  astir in me
transition time  i sense again
as i seem to find myself
          moving into a new
          phase of growth
          ive sought  and prayed for oft
but have also
put off for years
although i no longer feel
quite so completely lost
          it seems im traveling now
          towards some brighter  
          new clearing
here in the midst of all my
entangled misunderstandings
and emotional complexities
          once lost in a forest of fears
          where i kept myself  
          trapped for years
always seeking to find some way
back out into the sunlight
of what is really there
          everywhere
          in everything
          behind the surface trickery
          of my misconnected mind
somewhere within the great black holes  
stubborn  choke hold grip
on my restless  blind ego
          in all my elongated despair
          despite the intuitive hinting
          of something beyond all i know
          and my spinning compass imagination
it appears i have almost lost sight
of my truer goal
in the open  spinning dizziness
of so much distracting convolution
          forgetting i am already there
          at that calm clearing in the woods
          which has always been right here
          just behind where ive been looking all along
sadly in all the wrong directions
where it has been too seldom
that i have chosen
to simply close my eyes
          to all i see and know
          and look instead within
          rather than by doing as i much too often have
          by only turning around to look behind me
from where i have already come from
been and gone
just long enough to pause  
from all the continuous running around
          in the marathon race of my mind
          to stop  look  listen
          let go and breathe
beyond what silence i may find inside
with no other expectation or intention
than paying attention
to its guiding stillness
          mindful
          and ever hopeful
          that the moment
          may still yet come
when simply being
may finally slip up  
at long last
into what
          true BEING
          really looks like
          into what  
          true being really means
and perhaps
for the very first time in my life
i might gently  yet richly  
and more fully than ever
          reawaken back into that
          highly desensitized  
          disconnected  lost consciousness  
          to be reminded
even if for only a few
brief moments
just how incredibly
beautiful  sacred and precious  
          true being
          true living
          true life
               is      



      
OyateInyanNajin
Written by OyateInyanNajin
Published
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