Kaitlin

This is really sad and I applaud you being honest about the fault and having remorse, it allows a sympathy for the lady and in turn for the protagonist.
has a nice beat to it that would make for good song lyrics.
last line, it should be "all too real"
probs a typo.
nice work

Thanks for checking it out and I appreciate your in depth comment. Glad you like it!

someone you'll never forget.

life is a string of mistakes...

Thats the fucking truth lol

If we could rewind time..would we make the same mistake, twice?!

I like the honesty of this poem Hendrix, the bare truth.

I guess we can only find out once we get another chance! Thanks! Glad you enjoyed

"You looked into me and    
Said it was your first time.  
I told you I'd kiss you every    
Time you closed your eyes.  
You didn't respond, you just    
Gave me a glance that said yes."

You bring us into your moment in time with your words. Most writers, no matter how good, can not do this.  excellent as always.



"You were everything unharmed--  
Beauty, miles away from jaded."

Love!!!!!

Thank you as always old friend..each of your comments makes me want to write again!

We all have had those moments we were not real enough
This is such an open n honest account of ur pain
Love this hun

Thank you! And thanks for giving it a read!

it touched my heart AH... :)

I'm glad it did, thanks for checking it out!

This was full of feeling and emotion. Loved it. :)

Thanks for the add and thanks for stopping in, glad to see your words again!

Ah, this moved me. Even made me tear up a bit! Love it.

Thanks! I'm glad it had that effect on you!
Happy to know you stopped by!

Any woman in her right mind would fall in love with you....

Your words are filled with passion and love
that cant be matched.
(sigh).....

Totaly Awesome write!

XOXO
Fire

Well thank you!
Thats incredibly nice of you to say!
I'm happy to have you in the mix now!

So sad, heart wrenching. Job well done!

Thank you and thanks for the read!

A quick edit and review for your consideration - apply it to future work if you can see the benefit. There is an * near every line changed

You looked into me and    
said it was your first time.  
I told you I'd kiss you whenever   *  (avoiding repetition of 'time')
you closed your eyes.   *
You didn't respond, you just    
gave me a glance that said yes.  
For a moment, you were the one.  
For a moment, I knew we'd go on.  
You were everything unharmed--  
beauty, miles away from jaded.  
Life with you was great, but even   *
a perfect moment is still a moment  
and soon my cracks began to show.  
You started to realize I lied.  
You started to realize I was high.  
Nine months down the line,    
it was all said and done and    
we both just moved on.  
Now, I wish I had been real.   *
Now, what happened is all too real.

Comments: I have removed the caps from the start of every line. There is no wrong or right, although current 'trends' are towards this. Caps are kept for start of sentences.

"down the line" and "cracks began to show" and "all said and done" are all overused phrases. Try to come up with something of your own.

"beauty, miles away from jaded" is a wonderful line, elegant and saying so much with few words.

The honesty in this poem also attracts the reader.

Thanks for the advice! Definitely will take that into account next time I write :)