Too Soon Too Close

If I weren't afraid
I'd wonder a little more
I'd question the degrees
In which I'm wanted
It would probably hurt me
If I was sure about you
But I'm not
And I love it like this
I'd probably try to figure out
What this thing really is
And if it's worth pursuing
Or just letting go
But finally for once
I'm in complete control
Immeasurable security
I've found in your hesitancy

Because being away, gives me time to think
And not enough time to feel
Only in moments am I certain that it's real
But not during the day, when you're away
In a lot of ways I'm thankful
That we hold back for our own reasons
It's so much easier to handle
When I'm safe from the deep end

Cuz when we naturally flow
You know that I like it
But we slow down growth
Emotions uninvited
Stop it all in its tracks
Until we're ready to go back
Then when night falls
We go right back to the start
Desire for connection calls
And it's hard to be apart
But that's when we separate most
Can't move too soon too close

At a safe distance
I watch you from the shadows
I long for more
But it's all for the best
I'll come out when asked
And when I feel compelled
Until then I'll be nothing
But your late night entertainment
And there's no need to explain it
Look at my smiling face
I'm into the strange comfort
That only you provide
If I had too much of it
My heart and mind would be at war
But there's no need for me to worry
About how I feel inside

Because I can always find a moment to think
But never enough moments to feel
So after our time together I can deal
Cuz it's not the same, when we're both to blame
And yes I could start to question
But I won't even go there
I'm happy experiencing connection
And the vibe that we share

So I'll continue with cautious choices
Even if only for my sake
I'll fight those little voices
Begging me to play with fate
But I won't walk that road alone
Refuse to do it on my own
See I let you take the wheel
Cuz I know I'll hardly drive
When I can't tell if things are real
I won't fight to keep it alive
Although I know it takes work from both
I just can't move too soon too close

I'd much rather draw
My own twisted conclusions
Rather than live in
Tangled webs of confusion
Won't address this problem
No need for solutions
I'm happy how things are
I don't need resolutions
I'll keep my heart under protection
Until I'm sure of direction
Because you can't make my head spin
If I don't let you give correction

That's why I'll reject what I want most
And I know you'll do the same
Can't move too soon too close
We're losing while we win this game