Lacking

I have to admit I've been slacking
My recent poems have been lacking
Life is hard but I have to get over it
Getting over someone you loved is hard i have to admit

At times I am weak when I should be strong
I turn to you with this poem in hand, it might be wrong
But I loved you all along, I tried to forget you
Yeah it is very true, but the truth I've been trying to construe

I am a beautiful mess, a total disaster
I might appear to be following a human master
But I serve only one and that's a God
And he has never left me, on light he's shod

He doesn't make girls like me anymore
No more will I play what I'm not, a whore
I have loved mortal men, Given myself into sin
I choose to, I will not give in again

I am chosing a brand new kind of life
One that doesn't include cutting with a knife
I won't beg you to stay if you walk out the door
I'm just a girl not a real whore

If you leave I'll pretend not to care
I'll just stand there and stare
I know for you it's easy to leave me
But I will not drown in this misery

Yeah, I still love you but I'll forget that I do
Because you left me feeling so blue
Now I want nothing to do with you
Or have anything to do with your crew

I'm a not really a patient person boy
And you left me after playing with me like a toy
So I'll get over you if it kills me
Because i can't stand to live in this misery

You stole my heart and my vibe, my will to live
And you just didn't care, you had no heart to give
So I leave you with this poem, stay away
Very, very, very far far away you should stay