Into the fire

The fragments are scattered across the bathroom floor
photo frames, the shattered glasses of photo frames
and bottles of bourbon. Cocaine glistening from my fingertips
and smeared across my fucking face.
 
There I am, holding her. I never cried so much in my life.
Despondent, detached it's as if she's disconnected from reality
when I need her the most. We both lost in the
heaviness of the dawn. The feeble sunlight avoiding us.
 
Left in the shadows of despair and darkness a poisonous erroding
whatever love we have left. I can't stop fucking drinking.
She can't stop snorting snow. First time I tried it
and I have to tell you it helps me cope. She's depressed.
 
She's trembling in my arms, misery seizing her every nerve
and I can't stop fucking drinking and breaking shit.
I'm screaming, she's trembling. Fucking trembling and I cannot stop it.
I failed her, the doctors, psychologists and social workers don't know shit.
 
Every institution fails to find its way, death on the other hand makes it mark.
We are the monsters they say we are, the Gods and the Preists. Their Clergy of wretches
I will kill them all. Don't you dare dishonour our son's memory no matter how shortlived
his life may have been. I take the wicked weaponry of a knife to their throats and slash.
 
Arteries spewing their rhetoric, such vile putrid fucking rhetoric. That she never should have heard!
Her life now in tatters and mine in misery and guilt of my failures and these cancerous fucks
continue to preach, poisoning our souls to the point we have nothing of worth left to salvage.
The powdered snow descends, driving her through the threshold.
 
She draw the blade across her throat, bleeding out in my arms
the second casualty in my war. You have taken everything from me.
Your laws, your institutions and your lives, I will tear them away.
Nothing left to lose, Euan's muffled gasps captured in my mind.
 
And her frantic gasps for air, as the blood fills her throat. I scream.
 
Only I'm left, the aftermath is just that. The same forsaken shithole I torched to the ground.
I have her, and him close to my heart, the only photo left.
And the fires consume the rest, the poisonous demons now lain to rest.
I turn away from the fires, the fear. I am what's left.