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I was so Depressed but I'm Better Now

Yet another poem to write.
Another day to get through.
Another breath to breathe.
Just some more blood to bleed.

Time moves on but I don't
and I never will.

When I sleep, my heart still
beets and my lungs still subconsciously
force air in and out of my
tired lungs. During the
deepest state of sleep, my
eyes dart back and forth in
my skull. My intestines and
stomach digest and yet it
feels like I've stopped.

I'm getting motion sickness
from life. I'm dizzy and confused
and I miss you and that's all I
really know.

The world keeps spinning and
hurtling through space and a
newborn breathes on its own
and people die everyday and
life moves onward and forward
and I'm just... tired.

Of it all.

There's only one way to stop
and to rest and it is to rest
in fucking pieces and I'm almost
tired enough to want to be done.

And this is a poem I started to
write four months ago, scribbled
down in pen on a piece of scrap
paper and tossed into my pocket and
I left it there because I knew it
wasn't done just yet.

I've found out that what was missing
was you. You make it okay that life
moves forward. You make it okay that
my mom is gonna drive me fucking nuts
and that I still sometimes think about
cutting myself and that once in a while
I spit when I yawn onto my chin and a boy
in my Algebra class saw it and gave the most
disgusted look I have ever seen.

All that really hardly matters because I
love you so damn much and you feel the
same and you really honestly are the
only thing that makes living this life
okay and I never want to be without
you, my love.

I've missed you for far too long and I
know I've been holding onto you just
a little too tightly but really you
are the only one I ever want to be
with.

You, Greg.

You and that is all and I need nothing
else and I want nothing more than to
be with you.

I'm sure so many girls have sad similar
things to you in the past. My words are
nothing all that special except the fact
that my meaning behind them is sincere and
I love you with everything I have.

Sometimes my mom checks up on me in the
middle of the night to see if I'm home
and not with you but we'll get through.

She'll have to stop eventually and sleep
because she's nothing more than human
and nothing can stop me from loving
you and wanting you and wanting to
be beside you. Not a damn thing.

And though I was once tired of being alive
the only thing now that gets me tired is
the after-sex haze of trying to put
clothes back on while my body tells
me to stop moving with dull aches
and throbbing in the good kinds
of places and you do that to
me.

I'm much brighter and life is much
better and I love you I love you I
love you I love you and thank you
for loving me me back.
Written by Denythelove
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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