deepundergroundpoetry.com

Just a Pencil to Write

 March

Dear Eric

Congratz on graduating college. It must be nice being around all those happy people, unscathed by tragedy.
While, I'm here, exploding bombs tend to be my only source of music, in this God-forsaken battle field.

I'd like to get the gang back together, if I had the chance. The army has been getting too much.
I've fought my way to the top, suffered a lot at the hands of male superiors. Not an inch of my body left un-violated, and untouched.

I write this, not because I want you to feel bad, you're the only left to tell.
I mean, now that I think about it, we've both have gone and come back from our own inner hells.

We had it tough growing up huh? I remember finding you shivering with no clothes on in cold, while looking for food in the garbage.
I've worked hard... so hard, that I've bleed tears. I hope you are proud of me too. The army has changed the savage, that I was.  

Eric, today I was selected, among others, to ambush the enemy quarters. I'm being sent on such a dangerous mission.
I just thought you might wanna know, if my absence rises any attention.

I won't return. I can feel my gut twisting it knots. I feel like vomiting. I just really need to clear my mind.
I've been reminiscing, its even more nostalgic as I continue writing, each and every line.

I've got almost no regrets. Even when I set a distance between you and I. It was wrong, I admit it, but I knew you'd make it further.
You were sinking with me, I needed to push you out,
even if it all was solidify in anger.

I'm here packing, and I write, wondering if I should continue telling what I've got to tell. I just hate chickening-out.
I pushed you away .... so very far away,
I wanted to hide it, I didn't want to be hated, when you found out.

With just a pencil to write, I'll scribble the words that I've never had the courage to say.
I love you,.... I love you.... I really do love you,
I won't lie and say everything will be okay.

Because after I send this letter to you, it'll be my last.
I don't wanna be just a memory of your past.
With just a pencil I write the one thing I regret the most.
I love you... even as I die, this my curse.

I'll fight till the very end. You know me all too well.
So many other soldiers have done so and failed.
I don't regret my up coming death,
cause I'll be sparing in your name.


John
[/center][/font]
Written by PsychicApocalypse (Darker Half)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3 reading list entries 1
comments 6 reads 999
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
COMPETITIONS
Today 9:43am by mel44
SPEAKEASY
Today 9:24am by Too_hot69
COMPETITIONS
Today 4:56am by NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
SPEAKEASY
Today 4:15am by Grace
SPEAKEASY
Today 3:33am by DCLXVI_1989
COMPETITIONS
Today 00:41am by Louismatteo349