she took satan as her lover

 


god flames curdle on my tongue
like gypsy tears
i would light a candle for us,
but it was all in my head
how my body was your temple
and you came to pray
burning us both alive
in your ritual dance

i bookmarked your kiss because
it is my favorite poem
stormy and threadbare
losing its fight against erosion
but still i feel the rasp of your sigh on the back of my thighs

worship is never a small thing
for sluts like me
it's made of caspian salt crusted to peacock lashes, gnashing zipper teeth
fairy hells inside you and frostbitten ballerina paws,
porn king of my nightmare realm
jezebels like me
dancing that sick heart crawl like you played that song
because i was in the room

and i am a thimble
dear dead bolt-less desdemona
sleeping soundly in the ghetto
while you cut polaroid memory
in pieces and make a mosaic
i looked you in the eyes
while you choked the dream
out of me
and smiled
so brightly you wept on my breast
like it would paint a streak
of light on my face
for you to wrap behind my ear
knowing my heart would blister
as i stared, so empty, at the ceiling
rocking my baby bye

you told me i was divine once
irresistible
a compulsion, an indulgence
an obsession, a need
better than being high as your horoscope

well, you're still fucking
and laughing
smoking your weight in grass
listening to the doors
just like any other tuesday
while i burn myself out
falling like a chandelier
shattered
clattering like a tambourine
against linoleum
thoughts scattered
you're dragging an ice needle
across my cornea
television static jazz
like snow dusting your first kill
blurred face
but i know those hands
that gracious stubble
the feel of your favorite hoodie
the smell of your neck

unfading
i know the tremor in your moan
better than i do my own
the exact shade of your eyes
dying every sea a cursed green


maybe
if i were more selfish,
i'd be dead right now




if you were less selfish,
we'd both be

x