deepundergroundpoetry.com
How anyone can win a trophy
In general, the technique involves
unplugging your computer
and throwing it out the window.
You hit an old lady and she dies.
They trace the computer back to your
Deep Underground Poetry Account,
They set up a sting operation to figure out who
GoreFinger68 is
They run a competition
You cannot resist entering
You win it
The Moderator in-boxes you
congratulating inviting you out to
FRANCILLIAS
which is right across the street from
Your 36 floor slumlord apartment building
where you hijack internet
spending your day dancing ballet
to get reception
Off to goodwill for a dinner dress
While in the dressing room
you decide to walk out
not pay
shoplift
Never been caught
but this time
The store employee that stalks you
confronts you about unpurchased items
You swallow your pride and offer to swallow
He eagerly enters the restroom
you lock the door
make it click
silently reopen it
Slowly God
ever so slowly
unzip his pants
get down on knees
pray for the first time in a long time that
somebody out there
needs to take a piss but nobody comes
start with some slow manual action
with spit
holy shit
the door flys open
it is his boss
A middle aged sour faced female
Dick goes limp
Your que
to exit stage right.
Now an hour late for your
All Time
Greatest Grand Prize
ever
luncheon date
but decide to go IN
you see the setup
two uniformed cops twenty feet away
behind the kitchen doors
"This is a waste of time
Whoever it is
obviously not coming"
You are screwed royally
Leaving would attract attention
Go up to the counter
glance at the reservation list
ask if the Dale party has arrived T
"Why yes, everybody is coming early today
let me escort you over to their table"
Screwed bad "please direct me to the lady's room first",
"of course, it is right beyond your party's table"
"Thank you" and walk by the table smiling and nodding, and walk to the restroom
You hear the waitress outside making another setting for the Dale party, they chuckle, "no need, we are all here!"
The window to the bathroom opens thank god and you make it out of there after tearing your dress, hitting the pavement
skipping to the nearest store
There are several to choose from
You make it inside fast enough to see the two cops running by, splitting up and going both ways at the intersection while
You pay the cashier for a tanning booth
spend the next two hours
naked under tanning lights
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