deepundergroundpoetry.com

How anyone can win a trophy

     
     
In general, the technique involves    
unplugging your computer  
and throwing it out the window.  
   
You hit an old lady and she dies.  
   
They trace the computer back to your  
   
Deep Underground Poetry Account,  
   
They set up a sting operation to figure out who    
 
GoreFinger68 is    
 
They run a competition  
 
You cannot resist entering  
 
You win it  
 
The Moderator in-boxes you  
 
congratulating inviting you out to
 
FRANCILLIAS
   
which is right across the street from  
 
Your 36 floor slumlord apartment building  
 
where you  hijack internet    
 
spending your day dancing ballet
  to get reception
  
   
 
Off to goodwill  for a dinner dress
 
While in the dressing room
you decide to walk out  
   not pay
      shoplift  
 
Never been caught  
 
 but this time
  
The  store employee that stalks you
 confronts you about unpurchased items  
 
You swallow your pride and offer to swallow
 
He eagerly enters the restroom
 
you lock the door
 
make it click

silently reopen it
 
 
Slowly God
 
ever so slowly

unzip his pants

get down on knees  
 
pray for the first time in a long time that
somebody out there
needs to take a piss but nobody comes  
   
start with some slow manual action  
 
with spit
holy shit  
 
the door flys open
it is his boss
A middle aged sour faced female
  
Dick goes limp

Your que  
to exit stage right.  
   
Now an hour late for your
All Time
Greatest Grand Prize
ever
luncheon date  
 
but decide to go IN
 you see the setup
 two uniformed cops twenty feet away
behind the kitchen doors
"This is a waste of time
Whoever it is
obviously not coming"  
 
You are screwed royally
Leaving would attract attention
Go up to the counter
glance at the reservation list
ask if the Dale party has arrived  T

"Why yes, everybody is coming early today
 let me escort you over to their table"    
 
Screwed bad "please direct me to the lady's room first",  
 
"of course, it is right beyond your party's table"

"Thank you" and walk by the table smiling and nodding, and walk to the restroom  
 
You hear the waitress outside making another setting for  the Dale party, they chuckle, "no need, we are all here!"  
 
The window to the bathroom opens thank god and you make it out of there after tearing your dress, hitting the pavement  
 
skipping to the nearest store  
 
There are several to choose from  
 
You make it inside fast enough to see the two cops running by, splitting up and going both ways at the intersection while  
 
You pay the cashier for a tanning booth  
 
spend the next two hours  
 
naked under tanning lights
Written by rabbitquest
Published | Edited 26th Feb 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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