Absence

Your hand slipped out of mine
and I watched you float away
while I struggled to find
something to hold onto

After a while I stopped reaching out
you were too far from my fingertips
and there were other arms
to catch you
while I learnt not to drown
in the abrupt loneliness
of your absence

And in the months between
the last of your laughter
and the beginning of your silence
I’ve come to realise
you only love me when you’re broken
when another girl has ripped
your beating heart
from your mosaic ribcage
and put it back in all wrong

Your hand slipped out of mine
and I watched you float away again
so you could chase a dream
that wasn’t lonely
your side of the bed warm
while mine stayed empty
of everything but memories
and a friendship unbalanced
by the scales of love

And I know you’d say
you love me more
but where were you
when I needed you most?
While I’m left waiting to see
if you’ll return
to love me in a way
that’s never quite whole
but more than I’ve ever really had

© Indie Adams 2014