The Wild-Wild West

Every day’s a gold rush
And you can’t trust no-one
Coz they’re all double-negatives
And hanging’s a spectator sport
And writing’s for tombstones
And real men down whiskey
And everyone’s your friend
And its drinks all round

The gunslinger’s in the belltower
And women hike up their skirts
And wear boots over fishnets
But it’s not like the movies
Where the sheriffs aren’t crooked
And the villains all don black
And everyone’s your friend
And its drinks all round

It’s a dry argument in a dustbowl
And you can’t take a bath
Coz the town’s got no water
So you wash once a month
With a jug and a basin
And the bedbugs don’t mind
And everyone’s your friend
And its drinks all round

The preacher’s daughter’s no virgin
Lucky your horse knows the way
Coz you’re a wreck in a desert
And the flowers are all cactus
And your hat’s full of holes
From all those near misses
And everyone’s your friend
And its drinks all round

Yeah everyone’s your friend
And its drinks all round