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I am sorry for being fucked up

I am so sorry for being fucked up:


I canít imagine it, I tried, I tried, but every time I do, I die, I die without you, I cannot live without you


I want to be strong, but the truth is I am just so week, now that you come into my life, without you Iíd die


I canít concentrate, I cannot focus, nothing works right, everything falls apart, I just canít move or think


I understand how a drug user feels, I hate the withdraws, because without you, I fall down, and I canít, I canít


The world seems so useless, there is no smile in me, no happiness in anything, I canít stand the pain, I canít, I canít


Do I have to admit this to me, do I have to face this thing, I never wanted to live my life this way, needing, needing,


I always had to be strong, and now look at me, I am mess and I donít even know who I am, I wonder what this is for


Did I do some sinful thing, did I curse the gods, did I cause someoneís hurting, Iím being tortured I donít know why


Sitting on the floor in the dark, I wonder what I did to make my world fall apart, and become dependent on you


I just canít think of what I did, I tried so hard to be good, I never said anything mean, I have always been honest


I have gotten mad to protect myself, I had said and done somethingís, is it why I am being punished this dramatic


I want to be strong, but the truth is I am just so week, now that you come into my life, without you Iíd die


I canít concentrate, I cannot focus, nothing works right, everything falls apart, I just canít move or think


I canít imagine I tried, I tried, but every time I do, I die, I die without you, I cannot live without you


The world seems so useless, there is no smile in me, no happiness in anything, I canít stand the pain, I canít, I canít


I was so strong, an in just a matter of months you took my independence away, now your all I think, all I breathe


I cannot focus, I cannot do anything, I cannot paint or create or do this silly by law thing, I canít feel anything


I lose all hope like this drug is not working, but the drug traveling in my veins is you, itís always about you, itís you


Sitting on the floor in the dark, trying to withdraw I pull away and your unfazed, its killing me, this is killing me


Why canít I be like you, why do I need you, are you really this damn good I donít want to fight I am so tired


We were not fighting were we?


It was me, I was fighting this foreign feeling taking over me, and youíre always there, to pick me up and hold me


Youíre the hero I have always dreamed of, your unfazed by my panic and screams to be free, you wait till I fall and


You pick me up again, and you tell me the same things you just said, youíre teaching me, I think youíre teaching me


About this word called love, you pick me up when I am so tired of fighting but I was fighting myself, you control it


Everything I donít see and you hold me


I am going to have to admit this one day to myself, but I am afraid, will it hurt me to say, I will wait, I will wait


You already know, youíre always so perfectly strong, I am a mess, I donít even know who I am, without you


You talk to me with so much matter of fact, and youíre always right, and youíre always right, you never left itís me


I am running and running and running in circles I fall down dizzy and your right there to pick me up and hold me


You kiss the pain and make it easier to hold up my head, but I just lay in your lap and I take in all of you, your mine


You said this, you say this, you mean it, and you know I donít belong to me, I belong to you, I belong to you
I am so sorry for being fucked up
Lori
seascape
Written by seascape
Published
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