sock and soul

  "Damn, I'd trade my soul for a clean pair of socks"  
 
 
Something moved over by my dirty pile of clothes, and I walked over, and sure enough, there was a brand spanking new pair of socks.  
 
I was a little bit spooked, but I am pretty rational, so I dismissed it as coincidence, and the movement was just a mouse or I had just imagined it.  
 
After a few weeks I sensed that I no longer had a soul.  
 
 Walking home one night,
I saw this place where I had heard about
how you go into this box and talk to a priest  and I walked in, and by pure chance, there were a couple of people standing in a line, and somebody came out of the wooden box, like a fancy portable toilet they set out for the fourth of July celebrations at parks.  
 
So I went in and I said to the priest, "Hail Mary"  
 
The priest did not speak for several seconds, took a breath and said, "My son, we have been waiting for you for several weeks."  
 
"Who Me?"  
 
"Yes, we have been working on your case, and we are pretty sure that we will be winning it on appeal"  
 
"you know about the ..."  
 
"Yes, and the spirit of God has lead you here, and this activates, re-activates your soul."  
 
"No way, dude, I mean Father!"  
 
"Yes, My son, but there is one condition.  Satan, a former employee of ours, would only release the contract on condition that he may tempt you.  Unfortunately, if you accept his temptation, then you will be out of our reach.  Your soul will be his property, and without your soul, you will cease to exist"  
 
"That is pritty holy bat spit crazy, father. I had no IDEA"  
 
"Yes, my son, the majority of people who walk this earth live in complete absence to the wonders around them, as well as the traps that are as deadly to a fly in a spider web.  
 
So, I will release you now, but you must return at the first signs that your temptation has begun."  
 
 
I said, "Yes, father",  
 
and left.  
 
Boy did the air seem fresh and alive!  I really was alive again.  
 
The first thing I did, is grabbed my jar of change, put all my laundry in a sack, and headed for the laundramat.  
 
Satan was not going to ever catch me again.   I looked out for what could be trapping my fellow men and women, and I thought I imagined a few in the slow process of being dragged down to what lies beneath.  
 
"But its just a frigging figure of speech" I said to myself.  
 
whew, that was one WEIRD priest. I am of the scientific mind.  
 
I walked by this chick magnet car.    
 
Boy, I would really like to have that car.  
 
I heard the car start.  the low rumble of the engine was highly  
seductive.  
 
I laughed it off.  
 
The rich lawyer owner, or whoever, just had used his stupid remote start button.
 
He probably was just warming it up for his chick, his hot chick, with a juicy, umm, Dam, where is a hot chick in MY life?
 
All this spooky talk about my soul,  
 
Yeah I've got a soul, but a dead end job at a fast food  
joint, and I'm walkin, dude, yeah I'm walkin.
 
Like some hot chick would even give me the time of day.
 
Now, if I had that car, and a hot chick to boot, and 15 years,
 
yes, fifteen years of fame and fortune.  15, no make it 25.  25 years means eternity.
 
Too bad it is all just a matter of coincidence.  all this talk of selling my worthless soul.  Too bad I cant actually sell it.
 
But how in the hell, pardon my diction, how in the hell did that priest act like I really had lost my soul, and they had won it back, because I didn't know what I was talking about, and that the deal was I would be tempted again, and to come back to him when it happened again?
 
Yeah, a PRIEST, right.  they never even are allowed to hook up with some hot chick, and they must see hot chicks all the time, in those 'confession' booths.   Maybe they get free blow jobs, maybe there is some kind of trap door so they can stick their cock to the other side...
 
Sorry, my mind is always on the dog low side of things, maybe thats why I am still single.  
 
I'm just not going to screw around with this supernatural stuff, I am going to just rely on myself.   You see, you see that hot chick over there? A:, I could ask the devil to hand me over that chick and that car, or I could just rely on myself, and walk over to her and introduce myself.
 
Walking over, walking over,  "Um, Hi"
 
'get lost, dude, my man is coming'
 
Sure enough, that very same car came, and some well dressed guy got out and opened the door for her and they were gone.
 
They were gone.  well at least they were gone.  
 
Sigh