nonexistent

she stood behind the camera
always
taking photos of smiling family members
she had an uncanny view of life
from behind that lens
with no training
she captured the most memorable events

all through her life she viewed the world
from this perspective
from behind the lens of her eye
she could glance at her surroundings
and her mind shuttered it into the most
beautiful picture

later when she looked back at all the piles
of negatives and photo images
she was not in any one
there was no proof that she was even there

everything about her life had been discarded
of her memory
pictures of her childhood
left behind in the drawer
of the family hutch
her wedding photos accidentally
thrown away
her birthday photos taken on phone cameras
that crashed, burned and drowned
all those images irretrievable
like they never happened

she would see her friends happy smiling faces
clustered together in beauty
family gatherings, her daughter with friends
her camera clicking away in her hand
the shutter clapping in her ear
her hands filled with the ultimate
responsibility to fire away with focal precision
to capture the moment

she had thousands of images
but she was not in any one
she wondered as time went on
as she slipped from place to place
if anyone she loved would even notice
that she was mysteriously nonexistent