Image for the poem Hubble's Constant

Hubble's Constant

The Cartoon Laws of Physics are originally known as "O'Donnell's Laws of Motion.  Explanations are easily accessible through any standard web browser, or, by observing life in laughter through the eyes of a child; innocents age and incidents may vary. A background story for my first induction:            
Gravity took over faster            
and faster in one movement, only            
my face was in the mud, and          
my knees were aching,  thud!          
I wondered…          
Why are you laughing!
help me Up!          
“I saw it all in slow motion.  You stepped on the board covering the mud, and in this crazy like banana peel move, you went forward as the board was slipping backwards, perfectly stiff, causing your face to go perfectly Splat….!   That was great, Mom!...Why didn't you let the groceries go though, you would have at least saved face?”            
This was not my impression of the incident, it happened too fast to react; all he could do was laugh.  The internet is a lot like cartoons; someone’s always trying to fix someone’s little red wagon.   I’m writing my own set of cartoon physics; for I too, will soon be taking over the world, and forsoothingly whipping this kid’s ass.  I assure you it’s what I wanted to do, in my mind, in time; all in good time. This might be viewed as "terminal velocity" I think, but I haven't thought that through yet.            
It happens constantly.          
Hubble’s law: The law states that the red shift in the spectral lines of distant galaxies increase with increasing distance. For instance, if we plot the recession speed of a galaxy verses its distance from the earth; we find that these quantities are proportional.  According to Einstein’s special theory of relativity, the ultimate limit that anything can have is the speed of light; this is unapproachable. It can only be humanly achieved through observational effect at 1% short of this, resulting in a cartoon with a running rabbit.   Suddenly, Sam appears in his vehement costume and pulls the chosen deterrent on the pesky varmint; Bugs had stolen the loot again, – Bastard! Ultimately undermining the asinine cleverness of building a fortresses in the middle of the desert.    
Get his ass Sam!            
Yet, the faster Sam was traveling as per his momentum, the faster Bugs was clicking his heels in the distance, yet neither one of them we’re going anywhere, approaching speeds at near zero at times.   Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius! Water, water every hare I love the Ancient Mariner!            
"Animation follows the laws of physics—unless it is funnier otherwise."  –  Art Babbitt          
Bonus laugh:      
A very special thanks to my friend, you can recognize him anywhere, he's the one with big cast iron saucepan flipped over his head. ╰☆╮
Written by Pishashee
Published | Edited 7th Jul 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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