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ODE TO EMMA AND HORATIO (LORD NELSON AND LADY HAMILTON)
(A musing on the love life of Horatio, Viscount Nelson, and Lady Emma Hamilton, ultimately live-in lovers and parents of an illegitimate daughter.)
Did Emma, on Horatio,
Ever have fellatio?
Or, to him, how in bed it felt,
When on his right arm fate had dealt
Its cruel amputating blow
Upon the Battle of Nile’s hero,
Leaving him with a good left arm
To get feeling her curvy charm?
(The girl he’d met in Naples port
Had her ‘pair of twins’ to support.)
Sure, there were times she said not “No!”
They had their little girl to show.
Deserting his estranged wife,
He with Emma pursued love life;
Did she give something he’d not known
Within his marriage bedroom zone?
Did her posings as Greek goddess
Spur him to greater sex prowess?
Two hundred years we are too late
About such things to speculate;
Bedroom secrets went to the grave
When he, at Trafalgar, life gave.
Did Emma, on Horatio,
Ever have fellatio?
Or, to him, how in bed it felt,
When on his right arm fate had dealt
Its cruel amputating blow
Upon the Battle of Nile’s hero,
Leaving him with a good left arm
To get feeling her curvy charm?
(The girl he’d met in Naples port
Had her ‘pair of twins’ to support.)
Sure, there were times she said not “No!”
They had their little girl to show.
Deserting his estranged wife,
He with Emma pursued love life;
Did she give something he’d not known
Within his marriage bedroom zone?
Did her posings as Greek goddess
Spur him to greater sex prowess?
Two hundred years we are too late
About such things to speculate;
Bedroom secrets went to the grave
When he, at Trafalgar, life gave.
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