"Fuck up"

Once again thinking what have I done ,
a straight fuck up is what I've become ~
My whole life has been bad choices ,
I can't break free from hearing these voices ~
It seems right from wrong I don't know which ,
I'm way over my head in this deep ass ditch ~
It's either drugs or it's thoughts of violence ,
I wanna know why I never had the right guidance ~
I can't blame my mom so is it my dad ?
She gave me everything but I was still so bad ~
Every time I talk to God he seems more further ,
and everyday I awake it's me I wanna murder ~
Thoughts of suicide never leave my brain ,
I just wanna die and be free of this pain ~
Every move I make it's a bad decision ,
and the next thing I know I'm sitting in prison ~
Life's moving too fast it's never been slow ,
34 years of age and got nothing to show ~
Sorry folks but the damage is done ,
a straight fuck up is what I've become ~
B.