deepundergroundpoetry.com
trouble was always a woman
so I’m leanin’ on a lamp post
in the cool fog like I’m waitin’ for a bus.
it’s 2 in the morning & the last streetcar
ambled away at midnight.
she walks outa the bar with a brand new
Chesterfield between her deep red lips.
her bombshell hair drops around the collar
of her trench like an auburn waterfall.
she comes over to my little circle of amber
& says ‘light me up mister.’ I’m right away
ready with a clever dirty retort, but I figure
she don’t need another bum like me tryin’
to make a pickup. especially after the night
she’s had…
I’d been watchin’ her the minute I entered the
bar. watchin’ her was the easiest thing I’d ever
done. in the course of the long night, I saw her
leave 3 times, each time with a different guy.
20 minutes later, she came back in, alone.
fresh lipstick, & a look in her eyes that says
‘I know what I am
but I got no choice.’
so I strike my last match & offer her the small
trembling flame: a spark of my heart, maybe.
if I had 20 bucks, I could purchase her entire
stock in trade.
If I had 20 bucks, I’d give it to her just for a kiss…
the first bus rolls in at sunup.
I’ll be here.
Published 20th Jun 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 25
reading list entries 4
comments 25
reads 1646
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Jun 2014 4:03am
20th Jun 2014 4:15am
I love the heart found in this piece John. I like the word ambled as well.
enjoyed sir...
enjoyed sir...
20th Jun 2014 4:16am
20th Jun 2014 5:01am
I always enjoy your stories John.
You have classic soul about you...
Great write.
You have classic soul about you...
Great write.
20th Jun 2014 5:04am
20th Jun 2014 6:10am
Love this.. love the feel of it..truly enjoyed the read..but then again...I always enjoy your work.. :) much respect to you..domore
20th Jun 2014 9:18am
20th Jun 2014 10:22am
20th Jun 2014 11:44am
20th Jun 2014 2:23pm
20th Jun 2014 2:36pm
20th Jun 2014 6:34pm
..title was an attention grabber, but it was the content and it's delivery that held the readers attention. Mighty fine work John, as usual....Xo
20th Jun 2014 8:42pm
A charming little adventurer. She is dynamite through your vintage air. He is the swell on winter kisses. I love it !! Thank you for sharing.
21st Jun 2014 00:59am
I don't know what to
say, except that if Chandler
had written poetry..:)
enjoyed very much...
say, except that if Chandler
had written poetry..:)
enjoyed very much...
21st Jun 2014 2:43am
Nicely done, JF. You always do "poetry noir" so well. Terrific lines like "her bombshell hair drops around the collar of her trench like an auburn waterfall" and " so I strike my last match & offer her the small trembling flame: a spark of my heart, maybe" paint such vivid pictures that you can feel the heart beating in the darkness.
23rd Jun 2014 9:59pm
Your handwriting is unmistakable, John. It is a special style and having in mind the film noir I think Tony Pena is right to call it 'poetry noir'. You're exceptionally gifted with this kind of poetry.
30th Jun 2014 4:12am
Anonymous
- Edited 1st Jul 2014 4:07am
1st Jul 2014 4:06am
"her bombshell hair drops around the collar
of her trench like an auburn waterfall."
"she comes over to my little circle of amber
& says ‘light me up mister."
-killed it , excellent work!
of her trench like an auburn waterfall."
"she comes over to my little circle of amber
& says ‘light me up mister."
-killed it , excellent work!
6th Jul 2014 4:42am
10th Jul 2014 00:34am
"so I strike my last match & offer her the small
trembling flame: a spark of my heart, maybe."
Awesome line! I enjoyed this whole piece thoroughly. I dig it.
trembling flame: a spark of my heart, maybe."
Awesome line! I enjoyed this whole piece thoroughly. I dig it.
19th Jul 2014 9:41am
Intriguing title, sets expectations high.
Read the poem, took me there, but seemed to be dragging.
Bus at sunup, unexpected. Expectations exceeded.
Bravo!
Read the poem, took me there, but seemed to be dragging.
Bus at sunup, unexpected. Expectations exceeded.
Bravo!
24th Jul 2014 2:01am
JohnFeddeler, luv :-* ~
I think when I first came on Deep Underground Poetry and signed up, this poem was one of the first I read and it had an indelible effect. I remember adding it to my reading list and thinking what an incredibly talented writer you were, how immensely impressed I was with your enormous skill wielding the pen, words, phrases, subtleties of text, emotion, all of it...
I've had a chance to read more of your work.
I still feel the same way I did when I read you that very first time.
I think when I first came on Deep Underground Poetry and signed up, this poem was one of the first I read and it had an indelible effect. I remember adding it to my reading list and thinking what an incredibly talented writer you were, how immensely impressed I was with your enormous skill wielding the pen, words, phrases, subtleties of text, emotion, all of it...
I've had a chance to read more of your work.
I still feel the same way I did when I read you that very first time.
10th Oct 2014 11:32am
Yup, trouble most certainly is always a woman!
How they use that power when they know they posess it
will always be trouble! lol excellent story bro... :)
How they use that power when they know they posess it
will always be trouble! lol excellent story bro... :)
