deepundergroundpoetry.com
-the weight
stale eyelids at half-mast
concealing carmine cracked sclera
palm pedestal, chin rests
gaunt fingers cradle hook jaw
against the grain
of five-o-clock shadow
the weight of his world
on toothache display
for the 'Beyond Mouth and Mind competition'
Poetry of the body: Forget what the mouth says, and the thoughts marshalled into words. This is about non-verbal communication. Talk with the body.http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/6966/
concealing carmine cracked sclera
palm pedestal, chin rests
gaunt fingers cradle hook jaw
against the grain
of five-o-clock shadow
the weight of his world
on toothache display
for the 'Beyond Mouth and Mind competition'
Poetry of the body: Forget what the mouth says, and the thoughts marshalled into words. This is about non-verbal communication. Talk with the body.http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/6966/
Written by
DiscipleofLife
(Fenom)
Published 17th Jun 2014
| Edited 5th Mar 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 1
comments 24
reads 907
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: the weight
17th Jun 2014 10:50pm
a picture of misery,
words hammering
home the aching
head in hand
dejection of it all...
words hammering
home the aching
head in hand
dejection of it all...
1
re: Re: the weight
17th Jun 2014 11:09pm
Re: the weight
17th Jun 2014 11:04pm
re: Re: the weight
17th Jun 2014 11:09pm
re: re: Re: the weight
14th Jul 2014 10:13am
Re: the weight
18th Jun 2014 4:19am
re: Re: the weight
18th Jun 2014 4:30am
Re: the weight
hehehe. I digged this write!
The way you showed us with little words the situation.
Darker
The way you showed us with little words the situation.
Darker
1
Re: the weight
20th Jun 2014 8:07am
thanks a lot for your insight, and kind words... I appreciate that...=)
Re: the weight
28th Jun 2014 6:41am
I've read many of your poems, and then I realized that you like Bruce Lee, and with that perhaps comes your understanding of a great philosophy. I’m sure you have much to do with it though. But I just wanted to comment on this one because of the awesome last line. Imagine the cause of anything. Carl Sagan writes: “it begins with the origin of the universe and ends with the cure for a toothache.” And then there was a long incantation against toothaches, and it’s treatment; second grade beer. I just always dissolved an aspirin on it. Anyway, great poems and philosophy that makes sense to me.
1
Re: the weight
Well thank you so much for your kind, passionate, intelligent words Pishashee.
And also for reading a lot of my poems =)
And also for reading a lot of my poems =)
Re: the weight
Anonymous
4th Jul 2014 4:16pm
<< post removed >>
Re: the weight
4th Jul 2014 4:19pm
Re: the weight
7th Jul 2014 4:59pm
Re: the weight
7th Jul 2014 11:07pm
Re: the weight
14th Jul 2014 10:10am
I don't see misery-- I see inquisitive contemplation:)
I love this poem as usual, I love most of your work.
I love this poem as usual, I love most of your work.
1
Re: the weight
14th Jul 2014 10:12am
re: Re: the weight
14th Jul 2014 11:59am
Whatever you see is ok with me...=)
thanks for the visit and kind words Lilly...
thanks for the visit and kind words Lilly...
Re: the weight
16th Jul 2014 7:36pm
re: Re: the weight
16th Jul 2014 8:14pm
Re: the weight
17th Jul 2014 2:44pm
Re: the weight
17th Jul 2014 6:13pm
Re: the weight
21st Jul 2014 10:00pm
i have a frnd with ur like name
exquisite is he
and i came to say
I LOVE UR WATER THEORY
HOW TRUE TIS
like sands through hands spills
water can be kept cupped still
great thrill
ur thoughts capture still!
exquisite is he
and i came to say
I LOVE UR WATER THEORY
HOW TRUE TIS
like sands through hands spills
water can be kept cupped still
great thrill
ur thoughts capture still!
1
re: Re: the weight
21st Jul 2014 11:57pm