deepundergroundpoetry.com
Innocence
Gasoline dribbles through my hand
with patchwork lies on the patchwork sand.
I stencil colours into myself,
kicking it on the loveless shelf
and answers; they do not come to me.
The lies remain all that I can see,
I do not care,
you are not there.
There is just a mirage of what has been
and the remaining damage of a love caught between
the gaps of my gasoline covered fingertips
with patchwork lies I cannot forget.[/font]
with patchwork lies on the patchwork sand.
I stencil colours into myself,
kicking it on the loveless shelf
and answers; they do not come to me.
The lies remain all that I can see,
I do not care,
you are not there.
There is just a mirage of what has been
and the remaining damage of a love caught between
the gaps of my gasoline covered fingertips
with patchwork lies I cannot forget.[/font]
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 883
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
I'll never understand..
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Mar 2011 11:45pm
25th Mar 2011 11:44pm
why people read poems like this and don't comment.
I like the rhyme and, of course, the content.
The title fits too :)
Can I.. er.. borrow your pen? ;]
I like the rhyme and, of course, the content.
The title fits too :)
Can I.. er.. borrow your pen? ;]
0
re: I'll never understand..
26th Mar 2011 11:15am
Thank you, I rarely rhyme and I think my rhyming is an issue, I'm predictable and for a person who is quite versatile as a writer it's my most dull form but I sometimes find it expresses how dull and how hollow I feel at that time. Thank you for your appreciation, Cori Story.
love
the idea of the mirage coming from the gasoline. the wavy-line mirage feel is really connected with memory for me, and the stench can bring the same, not to mention the damages we get from the stuff. great job with this, LA, i felt it. [:
0
re: love
26th Mar 2011 1:47pm
Everything was supposed to be a connection to the next line, like the 'patchwork' being thread-bare, thank you, J...I don't usually attempt rhyme but it was messing with me yesterday =]
loooove it
26th Mar 2011 7:15pm
i love it. i think maybe you should rhyme more often. it feely makes me feel as if i was lving in your writing.
0
re: loooove it
26th Mar 2011 7:49pm
Very connected
27th Mar 2011 3:46pm
You are very talented, I agree with neybabi666, you should ryme more often, I really feel connected to this poem. I used to think that a poem was not a poem unless everything rymed, but now I believe that anything is a poem if you put your heart into it, whether it rymes or not. I can tell that you put your full heart into this one. I love it!!!
0
re: Very connected
27th Mar 2011 3:49pm
as usuau [:
Anonymous
28th Mar 2011 8:34pm
you once again have amazed me with youre writing. you kept short and sweet, but with still managed to make it an amazing piece of writing! keep em coming!'
0
re: as usuau [:
28th Mar 2011 10:44pm