The Pull of the Pound

Hamish McGinty, a canny Scot
Loved his money quite a lot
In the dentists he hit the roof
When he heard the cost of pulling a tooth
Whit? Twa hundred poonds he said
Fer wrenchin' a molar from a head?


Well if it’s less you want to pay
I won’t use nurses or X-ray
Then that will cost one hundred pound
Cheapest deal for miles around
If with anaesthetic we dispensed
Would fifty poonds make mair sense?


Without anaesthetic I’ll be plain
T’will cause excruciating pain
Aye ah ken an’ ah’m no being funny
But I canna be parted with my money
Pain will quickly go away
And I’ll keep my cash for another day


Well if you insist I’ll pull the tooth
But you’ll regret it that’s the truth
Do you want me to do you right away
Or come again another day?
Och it’s no fer me, not on ye'er life
This appointment’s fer the wife