Sex and hate

Every girl loves a bad boy  
and I loved to hate him  
like a bad promise  
just waiting to be broken  
a promise that I broke  
when I said I’d never fuck him  
 
The night was alive with cigarette smoke  
and cheap wine out of a cask  
I smoked a bong and pretended  
I didn’t notice him watching me  
 
One drink, two drink, three drink, four  
five drink, six drink, seven drink  
and just one more  
 
The walls found my hands  
drunk and wanting
tied up with misogynistic  
whispering fingers
that promised  
promised  
promised  
a good time  
 
He slid his darkness under my skin  
took my cigarette stained fingers
and wrapped them around  
his heroin cock  
 
His mouth was wet  
and hot, his tongue  
taking up too much space  
on the inside of my mouth  
while his hands fought  
the buttons on my jeans  
and won  
 
The bed crashed into my drug fucked limbs  
the ceiling swirling above us in silent accusation  
my self-respect as lost as my underwear  
ripped apart on the cigarette-butt floor  
 
He found me open  
and slammed himself inside me  
with all the finesse of a chemical romance  
throwing up out the kitchen window  
on a rainy day  
 
Seconds turned into minutes  
minutes into hours  
and hours into days
amid the symphony of heaving breaths  
skin slapping, scratching, scarring  
while the ceiling stared down  
in kaleidoscopic shadow hues  
whispering,  I told you so, in my ear  
privy to all my lies  
 
Every girl loves a bad boy  
and I loved to hate him  
like a bad promise  
just waiting to be broken  
a promise that I broke  
when I said I’d never fuck him
…again  
 
© Indie Adams 2014


*written for the hate=sex competition