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A Writer's Journal: Entry II

I'm gonna try again today. I'm gonna try writing today, another go at a story that I've been having such a hard time with these days. These weeks-- These past few months, since December or January I've been fighting with this fourth book in this series that hurts at the thought of not being able to complete. I love this story and I love my characters but something tells me that I'm missing something. Something in this story, this part of the tale is missing.
 
I wonder if it's time?
If it's time to bring back the other characters?
The old characters from the first two books.
Should I combine them with the characters from the third book?
 
Four narrators-- Could I manage it?
 
Does the story call for it?
 
How can I have this story have the impact I want it to have on the readers if half of the story isn't being told. So what in the next book I have to place catch-up with everything the reader didn't get to see?
 
And I know there are things coming up that has to be written from someone else's point of view, not the two characters who will be involved, but someone who will be watching them.
 
I want to tell my mother and boyfriend this but. . . I'm scared. What is this? The fifth or sixth try at this fourth book? It's almost the ending of May and I started writing this fourth book in January, so many months have been wasted with video games and books, getting sick and feeling depressed. I need to think this through, yes I know that I wanted to be fair and give these two characters two books all to themselves. But sadly, they are not the main characters, they are characters whose story got to be told and now it IS being told but now. . . Maybe it's time that we see a four sided, well rounded version of this book, of these characters.
 
Four narrators, can I do it?
 
I technically haven't tried yet. I thought about it but I have yet to try, my original characters got a break but now it's time for them to come back. I've felt it, I've grazed his name and his life too many times. He is one of my strongest characters that I have ever created, so strong I will one day share the same tattoo  as him. The uneven broken heart on my left hand, even though I do prefer my right hand, I know that the tattoo belongs on my left. Because it will always remind me of one of my favorite characters that I ever created, with faults and problems, with heartbreak and imperfections.  
 
This character's name is Sean and he is one of the best characters that I ever created. And I'm starting to think that if I want this story to have all of the things that I know it deserves I need to step it up a noche-- I really big noche, and I have to put in my two new narrators from book three and the two original narrators from books one and two all in book four. It's time for book five to be book four.  
 
It's time to make this story what it was meant to be. I might have to start over again but at least it'll be what it was meant to be. What it was always meant to be.  
 
I remember the children's book, The Little Engine That Could and how it had to keep saying "I think I can, I think I can" all the way up the hill as it drove it's way up, that little train. That's me, I've been forcing myself to go up the hard part when there's been a smooth road waiting for me all along.  
 
I think I can.
I know I can.
I can.  
 
- Paige Rider
Written by Page_Writer (Mad Girl)
Published | Edited 15th Sep 2017
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