i am unstable

I don't look forward to my next breath.
I do adore the thought of my death.
The thought of venturing into the unknown, no looking back.
Makes me want to jump, or just to relapse.
Just a hit, or a drink can't really hurt.
And a scratch from a blade won't make me squirt.
I just want a release, from all my strain.
That will never refrain.

I take a drag off my cigarette.
Blow smoke in the winds.
I think of my long lost Juliet.
And I begin to cringe.
She left me for nothing, for one tiny mistake.
It wasn't meant for her to see, but somehow she found out.
Now when she hears of me, she's filled with hate.
And when I hear of her, I sink down, down, down.....

They don't understand anything about me.
They study textbooks on "psychology"
And suddenly it's like I'm their twin.
But honestly I'm an addict forever, and I'll never change.
You can diagnose me with "substance abuse" disorder and depression.
But even if I could be happy, I'd still get high.
It expands your mind and makes your day much better.
And they still make it illegal, it's fucked up.
But I'm a minor and my opinion doesn't matter.
Because I am "unstable".......