Scared Little Girl.

We're at it again.. Sitting on top of our rooftop as I watch her weep. She spills these tears that are art. Her heart is art.. Her broken little heart is art. Watching the world thinking "This is what I'm afraid of." It's not some stupid scary movie, or some stupid ghost encounter.. It's this. Look around you.. She's afraid of all that. She looks up at the sky as she wipes tears repeating to herself, THISSSS is what I'm afraid of. Such a small little girl, with a big old broken heart, and the world around her is what she's afraid of..  She's afraid of the future, she's afraid of people, she's afraid of herself, she's afraid of life. The only thing she doesn't fear is Death. She holds the door wideopen for that. The reaper is gladly welcomed to us.. & God.. God is in belief. We believe that one day God will recognize our pain and relieve us from it. .. Cuz me and this little girl are nothing but a reflection away. & We're sitting here, crying our eyes out as our mom makes no acknowledgment about what we are planning. No.. Instead she opens the window viciously yelling "KRYSTY! Get back in here. You think you can do what you want? Hell no! I don't give a Fuck about you." & She continues on saying these really mean words.. & They hurt us. They hurt us because this, right here. ...What we just heard. Is not what a mother is supposed to say. She's supposed to jump right out that window and climb right out to the rooftop and hold you. She's supposed to ask you what are you doing. She's supposed to apologize even if she didn't do anything wrong. What me & this little girl have is not a mother.. It's a monster. & We steadily stay sitting on this old and barren rooftop listening closely to what goes on inside the house, carefully keeping close attention as I sit and document this very day. Until someone mentions the very fact that I am still outside, but I don't hear that.. I was forgotten. So if I was to jump and end my very life, right here. In this very split second, no-one would notice. I played with the thought in my head debating if this was the right moment to jump right into my bitter sweet happiness. My never ending slumber.. & Then I thought, NO! I won't give them that satisfaction