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The structure of this is almost perfect. The rhythm in each verse wends its elegant way until the final line jolts the reader back into reality. My favourite line:

"through curl and colour of sunlit waves"

Heavenly.

thanks, Jack. just a short little thing i probably should have left in my Docs folder, but i'm glad you like it. [:

with Jack, this is transcendental. and yeah Im basically just repeating Jack, this is a classic write, very elegant!
and hey it reminds me of some filipino legend, specially the format! :-)

thanks, Joss, i followed it along, just felt like i was trying to catch up with the words. love that it reminds you of a legend! [:

thanks for reading. [:

Beautiful.. Loved it

*bow* so happy you enjoyed it. [:

'Shouting songs of fight and right
constellations, ancients, myth and sight
reminding me by all relayed
through curl and colour of sunlit waves '

Beautiful J, you got the balance between easy read and cryptic perfect here. I thought it was beautiful but I've said that already. Nicely done, as per usual. :)

thanks, LA, i still can't figure out that last line; i've changed it twice! i know the point of it but can't get the words. thank you for sticking with me! [:

'tis a sea shanty and you'll nae be denyin' it....aaaarrgggghhh!!! More women should write for the sea, because she loves it so, and only women can quiet the storm...arrrggghhhh

(loved it, and it stands on the shoulders of a very very long tradition, especially where you are living right now....lots of boats never got home when that fleet was at its finest...)

hemmm! coming from the DUP resident pirate, that's grand flattery. she's core for certain people, confirmed to me yesterday as she was gleaming an irresistible green, sun coming through the curls and lighting the crests... *ugh* majestic. there are quite a few memorials for those lost at sea dotted around the island.. love that you know that. i kind of want to hug you. haha [:

Ah well...don't fight it, woman :-)

...the sea!  And I love this poem. This is so musical and mythical and I'm really digging the line breaks.  It could've been written hundreds of years ago, and that makes it an instant classic, in my book.  Very cool, J, very cool...

thank you, Lauren! it came quick up until the end there, so i'm always grateful for your take on how a write's turned out. [:

This is beautiful! <3

thanks! [:

bellisimo

grazie. [:

A really well-knit group of words made it really come alive, great work.

thank you so much. [:

Bloody excellent :)

thank you, violet! [:

felt weird just not writing anything about this short piece. It is so sprightly in its message. I think the rhyme of "breeze" and "seize" added that extra charm as well. For a change from my own self, nice to see something that does not need hidden meanings and stuff and still sounds so beautiful.

thank you, what a nice comment. i do have a 'thing' for her. it just pops out sometimes. [:

I'm reading your stuff on LA's recommendation.  This is a very clever poem.  The rhyme on a razor's edge is perhaps fitting for the piece.  A good undulating rhythm, also fitting for the piece.

Having said that this line "she kisses me in the breeze" feels like it's missing a couple of beats and this one, "constellations, ancients, myth and sight" feels like it has a couple too many, which is a pity because it's a great line.

The poem makes me think of mermaids, and the indiscriminate cruelty of the open sea, yet is somehow reassuring and familiar.

Overall, I like it.  Good stuff.

ha, well thank you! i'm always up for a good critique. [: believe you me, i have been over that constellations line many a time to try to fit it snugly, but i just decided to scrunch it instead and stretch the "kiss" line, because overall, i think it helped the feeling along better when read aloud (by me, mainly). very much appreciate your take, please feel free to have at any of the others as well, as i'm only mostly happy with many of them. [:

'of drunken men and wrecks and fish  
secret love and death and with     '
Stunning!

thanks so much, Adele! [:

strkes again. Im not going through all these comments to see if I am repeating someone, but if this wasn't sung on a pirate ship, then its high time we dig out the jolly roger! arrrrgggh

hah, i knew i smelled a comment all the way from the 'real' world. [:  
 
thank ye, mate. pass the rum. [: