deepundergroundpoetry.com
Boy
shake me, make me
hit the ground
tame me, blame me
knock me down
fight me, spite me
call me cursed
restrain me, pain me
do your worst
stalk me, mock me
while I cry
try to kill me
I won’t die
abuse me, use me
to move on
and finally rest,
when I’m gone
cuz…
on the day
that you do
find peace of mind
I’ll come for you
hear this, fear this
with what’s said,
when I’m done, Boy
you’ll wish your dead.
hit the ground
tame me, blame me
knock me down
fight me, spite me
call me cursed
restrain me, pain me
do your worst
stalk me, mock me
while I cry
try to kill me
I won’t die
abuse me, use me
to move on
and finally rest,
when I’m gone
cuz…
on the day
that you do
find peace of mind
I’ll come for you
hear this, fear this
with what’s said,
when I’m done, Boy
you’ll wish your dead.
Published 3rd May 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 886
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
3rd May 2014 7:18pm
MY FAVORITE LINE: hear this, fear this
with what’s said, when I’m done, Boy
you’ll wish your dead.
with what’s said, when I’m done, Boy
you’ll wish your dead.
3rd May 2014 8:32pm
Anonymous
4th May 2014 4:17pm
<< post removed >>
4th May 2014 4:38pm
The alluring task of breaking a mustang. Making the wild horse submit. It's addicting.
8th May 2014 11:37am
Reminds me a bit about taming the fox from the Little Prince... By killing someone's innocence and naivety who's being the tamer and who's being tamed?
8th May 2014 3:13pm
15th May 2014 00:39am
I really like this, more so than the one you posted for the competition. Rather then just saying pain is pleasure, you say pain is pleasure and you can take more then him, and that when he goes soft, you'll be waiting. Again very easy voice to hear and feel. As in, I feel like you are being Real, which I don't think of too many people on this website.
15th May 2014 2:07am
Thank You so much. I think speaking authentically is the hardest part of writing. Your observation is appreciated.
Anonymous
9th Aug 2014 1:41am
Mmm, this is excellent.
If I had to give you some constructive feedback - the only line I'm having a little trouble with is "tame me, blame me" everything in the first 4 verses that's being done unto you is negative, except the tame part. It still works, I just think to keep trending negative might be more effective. Such a minor detail, but something to think about.
If I had to give you some constructive feedback - the only line I'm having a little trouble with is "tame me, blame me" everything in the first 4 verses that's being done unto you is negative, except the tame part. It still works, I just think to keep trending negative might be more effective. Such a minor detail, but something to think about.
9th Aug 2014 8:16pm
