Hall of Glass

The use of the word "mildly" so effecting here. Haunting and powerful as despite the brevity it surprises often - cool writings

Thank you Whale, I sought to add the slightest details to smoothen out the imagery.

Good entry, sir. And, if you would like the advice, I think it best belongs in the dark category. To change that, you can click the edit button, and there is a link at the bottom of the page that comes up, asking if you want to change the category it's in.

I really like this. Very visual write that moves the emotions in the soul and heart. Enjoyed! :)

You have a great voice, Tacete--I can totally hear you doing voice-overs, narrations, and such!  Well done!

Ooooh.... the recording is wondrous...

Quite interesting.

Thank you all.

Writing is hard, concise writing that is. Laying down a hundred lines on one Idea is I suppose easy, but this is not that. Brevity can be both a strength and a pitfall. In this case it succeeds in making this universal by laying down a few details for imagery without getting wrapped up in the personal details of this obsession.

That is where the uncertainty creeps in, though. How literally should the reader take this? I always wonder this when I read darker poems. Even a in a metaphorical sense it is promising violence. The details indicate a stalking with a desire to escalate it to murder or murder/ suicide. The masked video only enhances this. I suppose that we even question this is an indication that the writing has succeeded. So that's a fine line. If the reader doesn't believe you it is just an insincere game. If they truly believe you they should be calling the FBI. Even though it is just a fictional scenario totally convincing the reader would not be a win any more than failing to convince them.

Those are general thoughts. In specific: The glass of course  suggests vulnerability, not only in being visible, but in being fragile. The glass is broken. There is blood. Before it is broken we do get the sense that it is subtly limiting you and cutting you off from the object of the obsession. We, right along with you, also want it to break. My only suggestion right after this is the image of the solemn shattering. This is not working for me. Maybe the shattering falls-off or settles to a silence... or the shattered glass is laid-out solemnly. Sorry I couldn't have more in the way of suggestion.

Your general thoughts brought upon me a realisation, this poem came together so freely. Sub-consciously even. I still find myself arguing internally as to what inspired me. And I suppose you're right; there is vulnerability of all things within the Hall, I say this within the title alone. To answer your question, I shrouded whatever 'darkness' in abstract imagery and a rhetoric question, I feel as if this poem is nothing but a conversation to my reflection. I create too little literal images for either of us to interpret.  And I agree, the solemn shattering image felt a carrier rather than its own undertone, it rears its hideous face.  
 
Thank you, sincerely for your time Braggman. I have improvements to make and perhaps a lawyer to hire. Haha

oooo I was so focused on the voice I forgot to listen to the poem lol...... listens again..... very nice