deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sweet sultry (DU crush)
Watching from afar with big eyes of innocence
As she writes words of wonder
seeped in sense and seduction
Deepness and darkness sometimes accompanied by intoxicating tones.
And while these webs were displayed
and others commented on the weave
I timidly drank them in
An unknown voyeur to the sultry perfomances.
Yet for all her talk of sex and violence
and other such drugs or depravity
To simply listen to those lips
and voyage in her eyes would be enough.
The time has gone and she is married
so any flowers of professing love have wilted.
But still the sweet sense of the words remains,
As hard and constant as an iron collar.
As she writes words of wonder
seeped in sense and seduction
Deepness and darkness sometimes accompanied by intoxicating tones.
And while these webs were displayed
and others commented on the weave
I timidly drank them in
An unknown voyeur to the sultry perfomances.
Yet for all her talk of sex and violence
and other such drugs or depravity
To simply listen to those lips
and voyage in her eyes would be enough.
The time has gone and she is married
so any flowers of professing love have wilted.
But still the sweet sense of the words remains,
As hard and constant as an iron collar.
Published 17th Apr 2014
| Edited 19th Apr 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 798
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
18th Apr 2014 5:09pm
Ah yes, the muse from afar. On a constructive note was the five lines in the first stanza intentional? Just wondered as all of the others are four lines.
I like the general feeling of voyeurism here. This matches well with the iron collar image in the final stanza. The constant, the steadfast.
I'm sure whoever this piece is about would be chuffed. Good luck in the competition also. Thank you for the read.
I like the general feeling of voyeurism here. This matches well with the iron collar image in the final stanza. The constant, the steadfast.
I'm sure whoever this piece is about would be chuffed. Good luck in the competition also. Thank you for the read.
19th Apr 2014 00:17am
The five lines were not intentional but with a quick tweak the four lines in all stanzas is now intentional, sort of.
While the mistress plies her trade, others can either join with other trade or simply watch in wonder.
Pleasing the One of this attention would be perfect enough, a trophy just a bit of extra validation.
While the mistress plies her trade, others can either join with other trade or simply watch in wonder.
Pleasing the One of this attention would be perfect enough, a trophy just a bit of extra validation.
Anonymous
21st Apr 2014 3:45pm
"eyes of innocence"? they look kind of batty to me.
Nice poem, V. You're lousy at keeping secret who your crush be though. Hope the iron collar doesn't smash the cute adam's apple.
Nice poem, V. You're lousy at keeping secret who your crush be though. Hope the iron collar doesn't smash the cute adam's apple.
21st Apr 2014 11:36pm
When I try to weave metaphors and secrets as a spider, others see me as a blunt barbarian. When I try to speak plain and be down to earth, it seems others only hear an alien langauge from another time.
What is a crush if not something to crush reality and one day maybe a muscle or two.
What is a crush if not something to crush reality and one day maybe a muscle or two.
