I Am So Sorry

Why?
Why, when I am happy
Do my people suffer?
Why is this always the way?
I want to be happy!
Just let me be happy!
But I cannot be happy
When those around me suffer.

Why do these two
Always contradict?
Those in my life,
Even those who left
are MY people.
Why must they hurt
While I am happy?

I hate this!
Maybe I should do it;
End everyone's suffering.
My harm would protect them.
The pleasure cannot be equal
One must suffer to provide comfort.

I cannot be happy
If you are not.
I can't
And I wont.

Perhaps I should do it.
My pain would help.
There is only so much pleasure
The world can offer.

I have taken
More than my share.
I am ashamed
For allowing this to transpire.

It is my fault.
All around me is pain
Suffering and sorrow.
For me.
For me to have pleasure,
For me to be happy.

I cannot stand this!
It is not fair!
I am so sorry
My people,
My selfishness has harmed you.

Let me make way for your joy.