deepundergroundpoetry.com
All for nothing
Don’t stay beautiful
when the world wants to thank you for the venom
you spat upon its feet
You’re a kick in the head
the end of the world embodied
in the spirit of someday
and guaranteed, I’ll be the last to know
Don’t come for me
and I won’t come for you
all our promises will mean nothing
when we’re dead
© Indie Adams 2014
when the world wants to thank you for the venom
you spat upon its feet
You’re a kick in the head
the end of the world embodied
in the spirit of someday
and guaranteed, I’ll be the last to know
Don’t come for me
and I won’t come for you
all our promises will mean nothing
when we’re dead
© Indie Adams 2014
Published 15th Mar 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 817
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Mar 2014 8:50am
Indie this was a punch in the gut for someone.. great emotional release I felt the sting of it.. with love and respect Crim :)
15th Mar 2014 9:03am
Thanks so much Crim, I aim to be relateable to someone :) Always nice to hear.
Peace, Ind
Peace, Ind
15th Mar 2014 11:18am
In the first stanza, is the 2nd line supposed to be that long? I just wondered in terms of flow if it might be better to separate this lines to match the other 4 line stanzas. JMHO of course.
I like the sinister use of the word 'we're dead' in the last stanza. This goes from an introspective piece to something far more aggressive. Good progression here.
Thank you for the read.
I like the sinister use of the word 'we're dead' in the last stanza. This goes from an introspective piece to something far more aggressive. Good progression here.
Thank you for the read.
15th Mar 2014 4:05pm
the anger pours out
and I think it's great,
and I personally love
the use of lines of
uneven length, it's
like not stopping to
take a breath, which
when you're angry
why would you...
and I think it's great,
and I personally love
the use of lines of
uneven length, it's
like not stopping to
take a breath, which
when you're angry
why would you...
15th Mar 2014 10:23pm
Even if a subject is over my head emotion is always present in Your Writes-quite relatable that.
I'm not a fan of copy and paste comments...seems a cop out...but well sometimes its just needed...
You’re a kick in the head
the end of the world embodied
in the spirit of someday
and guaranteed, I’ll be the last to know
One thing that drew me to Your Writes from the get go is Your use of rhythms and wit...
Kick-ass moment right there Indie!!!
I'm not a fan of copy and paste comments...seems a cop out...but well sometimes its just needed...
You’re a kick in the head
the end of the world embodied
in the spirit of someday
and guaranteed, I’ll be the last to know
One thing that drew me to Your Writes from the get go is Your use of rhythms and wit...
Kick-ass moment right there Indie!!!
