Saudade

Saudade

Messages sent
notification illuminates
the room not so dark
not half so bright as
warm glows

We apologize
my heart hurts
joy, a new sensation
I’m in need of someone
in need of you

I remember
how I felt
I feel, how I’m feeling
your lips under the new moon
full with you

Very first
puritans would say I spoiled
I bloomed with bright colors
you opened me
and stuck inside

I lean
I reach in
but I snatch away
don’t move too fast or I’ll lose
but the war’s over

Not mine
haven’t been in years
as if anyone could claim you
you’re not the target
you’re the arrow

Must know
got to remember
you scream his name
not mine, never did
never will

How can
I’m so confused
you burned me bad
but I want you so
I’m misery

Skin and bones
hollowed out
I ate away my filling
a pie without the apples
cold blooded

Arn-Horn sisters
I apologize
you inspire so I allude
my point being
benumb

The only way
keep from breaking
what are you doing, crying
where these fucks can see
man up

Go cold
dehumanize the dogs
callus the heart, no longer yours
embrace the anesthetic
the nothing

No thing
why do I want
your lips, your breasts, you
why do I still want
your words

Fuck you
this pain
the grief of Hiroshima inside
where Fireflies
reside, sleeping

It’s me
all my doing
I think I’m lying
to myself, to you
to Gaia

I want
to be accepted
to feel love, to have
a Tohru to my Kisa
before surrender

Eat me
fulfill your purpose
thank you Tantō
my flame snuffed
Calcifer’s farewell

I’m alive
can’t be spared
at least I’ll spare you
-her, she won’t be
reading this

I see
it’ll be eternal
my Achilles heel of life
Trojan horse of you
burned down

I can’t
this wont ever happen
can’t be hurt, don’t hurt me
anymore, show me magnanimity
please God

No more
praying, loving, crying
pain for the melancholic me
I’ll sleep on Melancholy hill
evermore

Faint softly
treading lightly
forgetful hermit never to come down
rapping, tapping, quoth
the Raven