deepundergroundpoetry.com
WARNING: THIS POEM IS NOT A TOY.
WARNING: THIS POEM IS NOT A TOY. (to encourage self gratification, nor to discourage the practice there of, you've fingers enough and imagination for the task and if you stop reading this poor excuse for novel intercourse and head to the local produce aisle you might find a girl/boy yet to hold it for you, or an ample plan b orgy of fruits and veggies for the task)
TO AVOID DANGER OF SUFFOCATION, EXPLOSIONS, AND SUDDEN HOMELESSNESS PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR HEAD INSIDE THESE WORDS, SMOKE METH WHILE READING THEM, OR DOUSE YOURSELF IN GASOLINE AND DO THAT FIRE-WALK THING AND WE DID MENTION THAT ITS BEST TO KEEP AWAY FROM BABIES ( they shit a lot and later steal your jewelry to feed themselves having ignored the no meth proscription, and some of them even lead mass executions when they hit their stride, fucking babies)
READ THIS PART FIRST: CAUSES SUBSTANTIAL BUT TEMPORARY INJURY TO REASON OR PRODUCTIVE USE OF TIME (rather like birth) Take off all clothes while reading and run to the nearest busy intersection to alert the authorities of your condition. If death does not seem imminent PLEASE CALL POSION CONTROL IMMEDIATELY FOR THE RIGHT DOSE
SAFETY IS MY GOAL HOW'S MY RAMBLING? CALL 1-888-550-7233
If I ran you over you're dead and can't call, at least your demise was good for a bit of chuckling squished body iron(y)ing. Haunt me if you like, tell my dog I'm sorry I did the same to him, my driving sucks or maybe you were too dumb to avoid walking in front of cars, or sleep under tires ( dumb fucking dog I love you) or didn't look both ways before reading
TO AVOID DANGER OF SUFFOCATION, EXPLOSIONS, AND SUDDEN HOMELESSNESS PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR HEAD INSIDE THESE WORDS, SMOKE METH WHILE READING THEM, OR DOUSE YOURSELF IN GASOLINE AND DO THAT FIRE-WALK THING AND WE DID MENTION THAT ITS BEST TO KEEP AWAY FROM BABIES ( they shit a lot and later steal your jewelry to feed themselves having ignored the no meth proscription, and some of them even lead mass executions when they hit their stride, fucking babies)
READ THIS PART FIRST: CAUSES SUBSTANTIAL BUT TEMPORARY INJURY TO REASON OR PRODUCTIVE USE OF TIME (rather like birth) Take off all clothes while reading and run to the nearest busy intersection to alert the authorities of your condition. If death does not seem imminent PLEASE CALL POSION CONTROL IMMEDIATELY FOR THE RIGHT DOSE
SAFETY IS MY GOAL HOW'S MY RAMBLING? CALL 1-888-550-7233
If I ran you over you're dead and can't call, at least your demise was good for a bit of chuckling squished body iron(y)ing. Haunt me if you like, tell my dog I'm sorry I did the same to him, my driving sucks or maybe you were too dumb to avoid walking in front of cars, or sleep under tires ( dumb fucking dog I love you) or didn't look both ways before reading
Published 26th Feb 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 5
reads 948
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
26th Feb 2014 11:38pm
I actually called that number. :O It's valid.
27th Feb 2014 00:28am
I know. It's from the back of the truck I was stuck behind in crash not getting home traffic when I tip tapped this meandering whatever it is out on me phone earlier.
27th Feb 2014 10:27pm
4th Mar 2014 7:05am
the title grabs me. i once generalized that poetry is a toy he-he. (maybe it is.) anyway, the poem grabs me 'cause, for one thing, i get a feeling from it i only remember getting something similar to with one other poem--and--if anyone's curious i can look up the issue of breacrumb scabs i read it from--i generally remember poems a lot better than titles of poems.
"READ THIS PART FIRST: CAUSES SUBSTANTIAL BUT TEMPORARY INJURY TO REASON OR PRODUCTIVE USE OF TIME (rather like birth)"--indeed.
"READ THIS PART FIRST: CAUSES SUBSTANTIAL BUT TEMPORARY INJURY TO REASON OR PRODUCTIVE USE OF TIME (rather like birth)"--indeed.
