deepundergroundpoetry.com
Void
a void that will not be filled
an emptiness that cuts deep
like a razor to the fucking bone
to a hollow place
that will forever bleed
a death of a life
cut down in its glorious prime
shattered dreams falling to ash
at the feet of those who grieve
those who mourn a loss
pain rips a hole
an open wound filled with salt
tears flow without end
and sorrow forever burns in my heart
an emptiness that cuts deep
like a razor to the fucking bone
to a hollow place
that will forever bleed
a death of a life
cut down in its glorious prime
shattered dreams falling to ash
at the feet of those who grieve
those who mourn a loss
pain rips a hole
an open wound filled with salt
tears flow without end
and sorrow forever burns in my heart
Published 26th Feb 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 3
reads 849
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Feb 2014 5:18pm
I don't know if you meant to but this poem has a great rhythm. It moves along with some of the words rhyming.
Great write!
Great write!
26th Feb 2014 5:22pm
Wasn't my intention, but going back and reading it again, I see what you mean. Thanks!
12th Dec 2017 7:37pm
I'ts bitter
raw
and it speaks of a truth you don't have to tip toe through to read the lines
for an honest critique i would say it's fine just as it is. it's short enough to not have line breaks,theres no spelling errors that i've found,and i was going to say add a splash of color (ie:black void,red death of life,etc) but the title being "void" nullifies it.
so wrap it up with a bright yellow bow cause i'll take it.
raw
and it speaks of a truth you don't have to tip toe through to read the lines
for an honest critique i would say it's fine just as it is. it's short enough to not have line breaks,theres no spelling errors that i've found,and i was going to say add a splash of color (ie:black void,red death of life,etc) but the title being "void" nullifies it.
so wrap it up with a bright yellow bow cause i'll take it.
