A New Chapter

The silence screams in my head
My hands trembling again
I want to pick up the phone
My Dealer patiently waits
I can't, I promised
Giving it up is hard
Harder than I thought
I don't want to quit
I'm not doing it for me
They won't have to know
Its only this one time
I'm doing it..
I make the call
Soon it's here
I'm beyond elated
Moments later, I light
So much for the promise
I've relapsed again