Traveling the World

I was up there for awhile, it felt like forever but feelings were askew
The lights kept distracting me
And the music
And the world
Driving along the highway with no passenger
No one there to weigh me down; I ascended with ease
In the night I had become a tightrope walker
Balancing those lines atop a ragged wallet
It had been part of my act before
I moved slowly, each step must be perfectly timed
The audience would have loved me as I lept
Reaching the end of the line I felt such joy
I'd made it happen once again
Numb now from the fear
And the world
Now to step inside their realm
Kind of backwards, that I could enter only after leaving
Myself
And the world
The people glide along the strip
Back and forth, browsing each other and the stores
I could glide amongst them too
Now that I'd sharpened my skates
I felt a great joy since I had put my dulled pair aside
Finally, able to roam around that mall
Those people
And the world
Then suddenly I saw her sitting solo on that bench
My heart was already racing, so I would face no change in pace
Her eyes had a certain vibrance, but not in color nor shape
It was a foreign feeling that I caught like glorious disease
Something about those eyes brought me right back to my youth
My fragile hopes
And the world
My head was flooding with confusion
Gliding slower I suddenly realized I must make haste
Another line will bring me back
There will be more flowers to catch my eye
So I walked right past her
Right through her
Once again attempting to escape
Such beauty
And the world
Drive home, there's nothing here for you
Throbbing head demanding nature's soothing
If only nature would not shun me I would gladly meet its call
Instead I questioned it as pain crept closer to shore
"What had we accomplished?"
Our sails were set full mass
Had the wind blown against us after all
"Stop talking to yourself!" I cried
But lost at sea I needed a voice of guidance
My own was not the one to keep me dry
As I came down I met my saddened self again
Back to normal
Imprisoned by myself
And the world

-Trantas 2/2013
This poem details using cocaine to overcome social anxiety